


your hand in mine (my hand in yours)

by nyckolodeo_n



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-13 00:14:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9096769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyckolodeo_n/pseuds/nyckolodeo_n
Summary: They're all very sweet to him in their own way, making sure he's comfortable and that they show him just as much love as they show each other, Aaron just doesn't know what he did to deserve all of it. They've always been very supportive of him being asexual, have never tried to force him to do more than he's comfortable with, and they know just when he's in one of his Moods; the ones where he feels like the weight of the world is on his shoulders and he'll never be Good Enough.





	1. Hercules

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hotsalsa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotsalsa/gifts).



> so i promised my friends touched starved Aaron this is (part) of the result.  
> ( there is a brief description of a panic attack but it is Very Brief )

Sometimes, when Aaron has the apartment to himself (see: rarely), or when he's sandwiched between Alex and John on the couch or in bed, he wonders how he ever got so lucky to have these people in his lives. He's very different from them in many ways; he's quiet and likes to keep to himself and is _much_ more self deprecating than the other four combined. He never really understood what made John, Alex, Hercules and Gilbert actually want him in their relationship, sometimes worries that they're going to realize that he's a boring stick in the mud that they will eventually want to toss aside, but he's always been glad that they have wanted him there. They're all very sweet to him in their own way, making sure he's comfortable and that they show him just as much love as they show each other, Aaron just doesn't know what he did to deserve all of it. They've always been very supportive of him being asexual, have never tried to force him to do more than he's comfortable with, and they know just when he's in one of his Moods; the ones where he feels like the weight of the world is on his shoulders and he'll never be Good Enough.

They're always there with sweet words and kisses and Aaron just _really_ loves them.

Which is why he hates that he can't adapt to or reciprocate the PDA that they so easily give out, that they are so willing to show him because they love him like he loves them, and he just doesn't understand why he's like this. He's tried letting go, tried the cheek kisses and the very public declarations of love, but every time he does he feels like his grandfather is going to pop out of the shadows and treat him like he did as a kid and he panics. He loses his breath and the world goes blurry and he's really glad that he blacks out when this happens because if he was able to feel his significant others hands on him as they got him to a quiet space it would turn out a lot worse.

The first time it happened, the four of them were very confused and didn't know what to do. They took him home, which was thankfully not that far, and let him fall to his knees as he caught his breath, tears streaming down his face as he muttered nonsensical words and struggled to breathe. Hercules, of course, had been the first to recover; had taken Aaron's hands and placed them over his own heart for Aaron to have a focal point, something for him to match his own breathing and heartbeat to. When he had come back to his senses, he was surrounded on all sides by his lovers, all wearing their own expressions of horror and confusion and a need to comfort.

Long story short, the feelings fest and boundary talk had lasted hours before they eventually decided to call it a day and spend the rest of the afternoon in bed. They haven't tried anything since then, but they're always sure to make it clear that Aaron is wanted and Aaron isn't a fifth wheel waiting to be thrown into a junk yard. It's nice, comforting.

He still feels that way, sometimes, but they're always quick to shut that down the moment they notice.

Currently he is curled up on the couch at home reading over a case for Washington while John and Gilbert make dinner. Alex is on the phone with Madison about their group dinner plans for next week-Thomas and James don't know it yet, though they could probably guess, but this dinner is an excuse to invite them into their relationship. Alex and Gilbert have been excitedly gushing about this for weeks, and while Aaron and the others are just as excited, watching the two of them gush over their friends is very cute. Plenty of Hercules is curled up next to him, head on Aaron's lap as he watched whatever cooking show is on right now. Times like these, he wonders how he became so domesticated; having significant others, dinner parties with friends, cuddling on the couch and not wanting anything more than what he has right now.

He reaches down to play with Hercules' hair, and when the other man smiles up at him soft and sweet, he knows he wouldn't have it any other way.

-x-

_Hercules_

Eventually, Aaron admits to himself, he will have to eventually be comfortable with public displays of affection. He knows the others won't force him into it, knows they're completely fine with him taking his time to ease into it or never being able to do it at all. Even so, Aaron will _eventually_ want to be able to hold one of his boyfriends' or significant other's hands without having a nervous breakdown every time there's the possibility of skin on skin contact. He doesn't any bring this up to the others, knows they'll berate him for being so unfair to himself, but he hates being so unfair to them and it's not too terribly damaging to him if he (eventually) gets something out of it too.

So one day, he gives it a try. It's a few weeks after the-very successful-dinner party they have with all of their friends. It's late October and a chill has started to set into the New York air. The five of them and Thomas and James are out getting lunch. They're in a corner booth, one of the circle ones you usually only find in a Red Robin or Applebees; Jefferson and Madison are sitting on the outside across from one another while the five of them sit side by side on the inside. Not that it matters much, because everyone is draped across each other in some way; everyone except Aaron, of course. He tries not to think about how much of a sight they must make. (He isn't very successful.)

Alex is between Jefferson and John with his head on the taller man's chest as he hold's Laurens' hand. Aaron is in the middle, much to his bemusement, then Hercules is sat between him and Gilbert. Hercules' knee right knee is lightly pressed to Aaron's left one, and his arm is draped behind Gilbert and partially behind James, fingers playing with the hair at the base of his neck. Gilbert, obviously is between Hercules and James, their head slightly tilted back onto the Irishman's arm and their left hand clasping James' lightly.

  
It's a tight fit, and Aaron's feeling a little overheated, but not uncomfortably so. It's nice, just the seven of them without the Schuyler sisters or Maria, they don't do this very often despite most of them working together and living within the same four blocks of one another.

At some point, Aaron isn't really sure when, the mood of the conversation has suddenly changed. When Aaron zones back in, everyone is glancing between him and the front of the restaurant where a patron must have walked in. Aaron's confused, if only for a moment, until he looks where everyone else is and sees Theodosia and her husband. Their eyes meet-because of course they do, his life is a goddamn comedy-and the air is knocked right out of him. He quickly looks away, trying to loosen himself up, and he reaches under the table to grab onto and hold the first thing he finds.

That first thing is Hercules' hand.

Aaron's not as surprised as he thought he would be that instead of going into further panic, the feeling of Hercules twining their fingers together actually causes him to sink back in his seat and breathe. The others look at him a little like he's crazy, but he just smiles softly at them. "I'm fine. It's been years since we last spoke, it doesn't bother me anymore." James and Gilbert, who can see his and Hercules' hands under the table smile softly at him and nod in a creepily simultaneous way. They shouldn't be that in sync after two weeks, but Aaron supposed it's been building up for a while.

"Aaron," Alex says hesitantly, "are you sure? I mean, what she did was pretty terri-"

"I'm fine Lex," Aaron repeats. Hercules squeezes his hand under the table, though he's still facing the others and is careful not to draw attention to it. Burr squeezes back appreciatively. "I knew it wasn't a sure thing when I got into it. Besides," he says with a soft smile, "I have you guys now. I'm not worried about Theodosia." Gilbert and Alex light up at the sentiment while Madison and Jefferson gag in fake disgust. John doesn't react much besides a small smile in his direction, and Hercules reacts by rubbing circles on the back of Aaron's hand with his thumb.

The conversation resumes pretty easily after that, but Aaron isn't paying much attention to what it's about. Right now his focus is on the hand that his own is entwined with, how grounding it feels rather than life threatening. Then he thinks about whose hand it is he's holding, and it only makes sense that this is his reaction. He chances a glance in Hercules' direction and sees him slightly smiling knowingly in Aaron's direction. Aaron can feel heat rise to his cheeks-thanks every deity that exists for his darker complexion- and ducks his head to stare at the coffee he hasn't had much of on the table.

When Aaron had been brought into this relationship, he had assumed that Alexander would be the one he opened up with the easiest; he did meet him first, and according to the other three Alexander was the first one of them to "catch feelings" for the dark-skin man. However within a week or two it was obvious to anyone watching that it was in fact Mulligan that he was probably the closest to. Between the seven of them, Hercules probably has the calmest and least outspoken persona next to Aaron and maybe James. He'll speak out when he needs to, but he often times plays mediator with Aaron when the other three get into shouting matches and near fights with King and his friends. He was also the quickest of his significant others to adjust to Aaron's newfound anxiety with public displays of affection. Whenever Aaron has an attack in public, no matter what it's from, Herc is always the first to notice and the first to move into action. He makes Aaron feel safe, something he hadn't truly felt in a long time before joining this relationship.

Lost in thought, Aaron doesn't realize that he's resting his head on Hercules' shoulder or that everyone is staring him. He doesn't see, or even feel, Hercules shake his head at the others to prevent them from drawing attention to the situation. All that matters in that moment is the feeling of Hercules' hand wrapped in his own, and that for the first time in a long time Aaron can _breathe_.


	2. Gilbert du Motier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"What I said was," they say, "would you be okay if I were to go with you in Herc's place?" Aaron freezes, looks up at Gilbert in shock and confusion, but doesn't get to answer because they keep talking, "I mean, I know I'm not Hercules, and you and him have a Thing and I know you probably won't hold my hand like you hold his but I could still-" Aaron cuts him off with a kiss and when he pulls back, Gilbert is wide eyed and trying to catch their breath._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still don't own Hamilton , what a shame  
> Thanks to [hui](http://archiveofourown.org/users/covetsubjugation/pseuds/covetsubjugation) for being my beta <3

__For a little over two weeks, Hercules is the only one of his significant other's whose hand he can hold. As a result of this, whenever Aaron has to go somewhere, he convinces Herc to go with him, hands intertwined and swinging lightly between them from the time they walk out the door to the time they get back to the apartment. When the group had gone to a Halloween party the previous week, Aaron and Hercules matched each other as Bugs and Lola Bunny, and anytime Aaron felt overwhelmed, Hercules seemed to be right there, hand ready and a warm smile on his face. It's a great feeling, Aaron thinks to himself as he dresses to go to the grocery store for the things he needs for dinner.

Hercules and him are supposed to be cooking together tonight, as a way to show Aaron's appreciation for everything the others have done for him, and to more officially welcome Thomas and James into their relationship and home. He walks downstairs with a smile on his face, feeling confident about his trip. When he gets into the sitting room, however, he freezes in place and he feels his smile falter. Hercules is on the phone with what can only be a client, and he doesn't seem the least bit happy to be a part of the conversation he's having. He's pacing, and when he turns towards Aaron he gives him a very sad smile as he minutely shakes his head. There's a feeling of dread that sets into Aaron's stomach and his smile falls the rest of the way. Hercules moves slowly towards him while he finishes his phone call.

"Yes, I'm aware that the trim isn't magenta," Hercules says with the slightest strain in his voice, "and yes I am also aware that lining is turquoise. That is what was request-" he's interrupted, and his expression is one of offense. He slowly wraps Aaron into a hug, and the smaller man clings to his boyfriend's jacket and presses his forehead to the taller man's chest. Hercules continues. "Of course I'm sure about the order. I have that ticket, like all the ones I have, saved in three different places." Hercules takes a deep breath to calm himself and continue, but Aaron zones out.

Usually, when Herc gets a call like this to his personal number and not his office number, it means that he's going to have to go into the studio last minute to work on an order-old or new. Aaron hates when this happens; Hercules already works so hard, it's not fair that some of his clients are too ungrateful or irresponsible that his boyfriend has to work twice as hard to please them. Right now Aaron hates this client more than ever, because this means that Aaron now has to go to the store alone, something he was not planning for. The hold he has on Hercules' jacket tightens, and in response Hercules' hold on him tightens.

"I'm so sorry, honey," Hercules whispers, and Aaron likes that he doesn't have to voice his concerns for his boyfriend to understand what's wrong with him. Having someone in his life that has learned his mannerisms so well is a nice feeling. "If you want, we can postpone shopping for dinner until tomorrow and just have takeout tonight." Aaron hears the bathroom door open and he turns his head to see who has been home all this time. He could have sworn everyone else had work today, but he sees Gilbert standing in the doorway, towel wrapped around their waist and a worried expression on their face. Aaron tucks his head back into Hercules' chest, embarrassed flush making its way up his cheeks.

"Is everything okay, _mes amours_?" Gilbert says, their worry more accented in his voice. "I thought you all would be gone by now. You had grocery shopping to do, yes?" Aaron wines into Hercules' chest and the other man rubs his hand up and down his spine.

"Got a call from a client just now. You remember that dark gray suit with the _horrible_ turquoise trim i had to make?" Gilbert hums and Aaron lets out a chuckle at the obvious distaste in his voice. "Well _apparently_ they wanted the lining to be purple of all colors with a _magenta trim_." There is a lot of hatred in Hercules' voice and Aaron lets out a full giggle at the animation in his town. He pulls back from Hercules and turns around in his arms so he can face Gilbert. The look on their face is priceless, and Aaron laughs harder at them while Hercules rests his chin atop Aaron's head.

"Your clients have terrible taste, _ma chérie_ ," Gilbert says, face still twisted in disgust. They're still clad in nothing but their towel, curly hair starting to shrink where they've styled it in a pushed back style. They reach up to scratch behind their ear and Aaron unabashedly stares at how their torso stretches with their reach. "Does this mean you have to go to the shop today?" Hercules hums dejectedly and nods, chin lightly digging into Aaron's head. It takes Gilbert a few more minutes of staring at them, the confusion about what has upset Aaron settling back onto their face, before Aaron sees the realization sit in.

"Oh, _mon coeur_ ," they say, soft and sweet, "this is about going to the grocery, isn't it?" They're frowning at him, and all Aaron can do is smile back sadly and nod. Hercules' hold on him tightens just a fraction and he moves his head so that his and Aaron's cheeks are pressed together. Aaron taps his arm with a finger to let him know he appreciates the gesture.

"Do you want to wait until tomorrow?" Hercules asks for a second time, and Aaron furrows his brow in frustration. He hates that he even needs anyone to go with him in the first place, hates that he's such a burden and can't go anywhere that isn't work without Hercules' presence and hand to hold. He hates that _this_ is who he is, a disappointment and- "You stop that right now, Aaron," Hercules says in his ear. Gilbert has moved closer to him, hands held awkwardly by their side as if they were going to reach out and touch the smaller of the two's faces and thought better of it. "Whatever's going on in that head of yours, you stop it this instant." Aaron nods at Gilbert, and they sigh in relief as they move closer and caress Aaron's face.

" _Mon amour_ do not feel bad if you are not up to going," Gilbert says. His eyes are filled with understanding and he's rubbing his thumbs in circles on Aaron's cheeks. "We will not judge you for needing someone you know and trust with you to make you comfortable. Remember when I first came out to you?" Aaron smiles at the memory and nods his head. Gilbert smiles back and places a kiss on Aaron's forehead. "I was a mess the first few times I thought I was comfortable enough to go out in public with my makeup and skirts on. But you all helped me through it, and I have never been prouder of myself or loved anyone more than you all in that moment." Gilbert wraps their arms around Aaron's waist and he hears rather than feels Hercules step back and head to their room to get dressed.

Aaron loves moments like this; moments where he can tell that the affection coming from his significant other is genuine and he doesn't doubt it in any sense. Gilbert's hold on him is soft and warm and Aaron could bask in it all day. He forgets about Gilbert being in just a towel and hugs them back just as tightly as he was holding onto Hercules. Sometimes he can't believe someone as beautiful as Gilbert loves someone like him, can't believe he's lucky enough to have someone as understanding as them in his life. He mentally curses his grandfather, everything he'd ever said and done when Aaron was a child to make him feel unworthy of love. It's made his life unnecessarily traumatic and difficult, and he wishes he could just accept the affection he's given more easily. Wishes he was more comfortable being _him_ , not the Antoinette his grandfather made him be.

Beings friends with this group of people, and now dating most of them, has been good for his confidence; has really helped him be comfortable in the body he'd wanted to be in from prepubescents to his first year of college. Coming out to them had been the hardest; at the time he wasn't fully done with his transition, but it was enough that after all that time he finally looked the way he wanted to, had the timbre in his voice he'd always wanted. When he had finally spit it out, there had been a lot of tears on his part and a lot of hugging on his friends' behalf. Not long after that Gilbert had come to talk to him about being non-binary, and there was a repeat of the tears of joy in his eyes from the first time he'd ever talked to his friends about his gender. They had always been really close friends after that, even if only in private, and Gilbert was always the first person Aaron went to when he was having a dysphoric day.

"-Aaron?" He's brought out of his memories by someone calling his name. " _Mon amour_ , are you listening to me?" Aaron looks up at Gilbert and finds a look of amusement on his face. Aaron flushes, if only a little bit, and his significant other laughs at him and presses a kiss to the bridge of his nose. "What I said was," they say, "would you be okay if I were to go with you in Herc's place?" Aaron freezes, looks up at Gilbert in shock and confusion, but doesn't get to answer because they keep talking, "I mean, I know I'm not Hercules, and you and him have a Thing and I know you probably won't hold my hand like you hold his but I could still-" Aaron cuts him off with a kiss and when he pulls back, Gilbert is wide eyed and trying to catch their breath.

"Of course you can come with me, Gil," Aaron breathes out, "Spending time with you is just as important as spending time with Hercules, you know that. Never doubt that, you understand?" Aaron's hands have found their way to Gilbert's face and though Aaron is almost a good foot shorter than them, they're currently eye to eye because of how he's pulled Gilbert down for their kiss. Gilbert nods, and he kisses them again, "You need to get dressed first though. As much as I wouldn't mind this look, I don't want you to bail you out for public indecency." Gilbert nods again and giggles, pulling back and basically sprinting up the stairs. Aaron laughs and goes to wait by the door.

It isn't a long wait; soon Gilbert is beside him dressed in simple jeans and a pullover, hair pulled back into two buns. They aren't wearing any makeup today, but they do have their glasses perched on their face which is something they don't normally do in public. They open the door for Aaron with an over dramatic bow and Aaron laughs and exits the apartment, his earlier feeling of dread gone. They walk side by side down the hall, and in the elevator Aaron leans his head on Gilbert's shoulder. Their presence next to him is a nice one, soft and comforting, and Aaron wonders why he's never invited Gilbert out with him and Hercules before.

The walk to the store is an easy one; they keep conversation going easily (obviously) and every so often the back of their hands brush each other-Aaron's starting to wonder whether or not his life is a romantic comedy-causing them to blush in the middle of their conversation. Gilbert and him haven't spent as much solo time together has he has with Herc and Alex and as they have with John and Thomas, so Aaron is happy that he has this new opportunity to do so. There's not a lot of foot traffic at the moment, so Aaron can breathe easy, relax and let his mind go. Besides their group monthly grocery shopping-where Aaron still pairs up with Hercules-and dates, Aaron doesn't really go out of the house with any of his significant others but Hercules. Since that time at Applebee's, Herc has been the only person whose hand he can hold without freaking himself out and as a result, the others have accepted it just like they accepted everything else about him. Aaron is thankful for that and always has been.

That feeling intensifies with how easy it seems to be to shop with Gilbert at his side. He gets a little ahead of himself sometimes and he accidentally says Herc's name instead of Gilbert's, but his significant other pays it no mind. They smile softly in understanding and answer Aaron's questions with little to no hesitation. When Aaron explains his idea for dinner, a replica of the meal they ate when they invited James and Thomas into their relationship, Gilbert's eyes light up with glee and they excitedly ask to help prepare the meal. Aaron stares dumbfounded for a moment before nodding his head, causing his significant other's face to light up even more. They press an almost nonexistent kiss to Aaron's forehead before they move on to the dairy section of the grocery. For a moment Aaron is left behind before Gilbert comes back to lace their fingers together and pull him through the store.

Aaron gasps as he expects his brain to absolutely explode. He and Gilbert have never held hands successfully in public before. Aaron's brain short circuits for just a moment as he waits for the feelings of dread and panic to settle into his stomach. He's waiting for the moment where his skin feels like it's crawling and it feels like everyone in the room is whispering about him and he can't breath. He's surprised, for a reason he can't explain, when absolutely none of those feelings actually come through.

What _does_ happen, is the world around Aaron seems to disappear. There isn't any panic, any confusion or terror or even memories of his grandfather. Instead, Aaron seems to experience a kind of tunnel vision; everything in the world goes blurry except for Gilbert, except for one of the people he loves most in the world. There are butterflies in his stomach and he feels a blush rise to his cheeks and his palms maybe get a little sweaty, but that's it. The world doesn't crash and burn around him. Gilbert doesn't even seem to notice what they've done, and honestly that's enough for him to not speak up, just follows the other's lead through the rest of their trip.

Gilbert's hand is nice, just big enough to completely cover Aaron's, but not too big that it feels intimidating. Aaron swings their hands a little bit while they're being checked out and Gilbert turns to look at him, a smile on his face before he realizes what's happened. There's a split second of a look of terror on their face before they see the smile on Aaron's face, and they huff a sigh of relief. They quickly turn back to the cashier instead of saying anything about the situation, something Aaron is internally grateful for, and paying for the rest of the groceries. The two of them gather their bags and head outside, still hand in hand, and when they're about a block down the street Gilbert finally has his very discreet freak out.

"Aaron, I'm _so_ sorry," they start out. They're still walking and his tone would probably sound normal to anyone they pass, but Burr knows better. He opens his mouth to speak, to try to tell Gilbert that everything's fine and to not freak out, but he doesn't get the chance. " _Mon amour_ , I didn't mean to, I wasn't even thinking. I was just so excited because I never get to see you like this, and you finally let me and I was just so happy and oh my god, I'm so _sorry_ , Aaron. I-" They finally stop for a breath and Aaron takes that time to pull them to a stop and bring their hand up to his lips. He presses a smiling kiss to their knuckles, causing Gilbert to blush, and pulls them back down the path.

"Gil, it's okay." Aaron smiles up at him from under his lashes. They're three blocks from their building, he notices, and Gilbert must too, because they try to pull their hand out of Aaron's to avoid possibly making a scene. Aaron doesn't release his hold and when Gilbert finally gets the message, he keeps going. "It may have been... a little unexpected, perhaps, but it wasn't bad. _Amoureux_ , I am happy about this, please relax." Gilbert doesn't seem to fully believe him, but they release the tension in their body anyways.

The rest of the walk home is spent in silence while Aaron swings their arms back and forth. They get to their apartment building in minutes and in the elevator Aaron still doesn't let go, instead resting his head on the other' shoulder much like he had when they left all that time ago. Lafayette rests their head on top of his and he smiles to himself on the ride up, heart still fluttering in his chest. They walk into the apartment hand in hand, and the only reaction they get is everyone watching them as they move towards the kitchen. It only lasts a second, but soon they go back to doing whatever they were doing before they walked in. The two of them and Hercules prepare the meal, and almost as soon as Aaron is done setting the food at the table the doorbell rings.

At dinner Aaron sits between Hercules and Gilbert; Herc is holding his left hand and Gilbert's hand is resting on his knee under the table. The feeling is nice; Aaron quietly wonders if these developments will always be this way. He hopes so, listening to Thomas complain about having to co-council a case with Lee. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Laurens frowning at him, Laf, and Herc before Alexander elbows his side and he schools his face. Inwardly he sighs, knowing it's probably too much to ask for, before tuning back in and deciding he'll deal with that when he gets to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank goodness for Google Translate.  
> Come talk to me [here](http://www.poesuitsfinn.tumblr.com) until i get my writing blog together (but only if you want of course x)
> 
> Thanks to my _the sinners and the saints Crew_ for listening to me whine for days on end


	3. Washington

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Why on earth would we need to call Washington? It’s three o’clock in the morning, he won’t be up anyway,” he sounds confused, which makes more than a little bit of sense considering Aaron has never confided this information to anyone. Alexander keeps going, “Aaron, why would you and our boss have a ‘familial bond’ outside of the office?” All eyes go from being focused on Alexander to being focused on him, and he turns his face down so he can hide his face in Hercules’ lap for a few minutes to gather himself to tell his story._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are brief depictions of a panic attack, so read with caution. x  
> love you guys x

The week following Aaron’s mildly successful attempt at cooking for his significant others finds Aaron an overworked and overly stressed mess. If he’s being real about the situation, nothing is actually as bad as Aaron makes it out to be for himself, but he can’t help how his determined his brain is to make something out of nothing. He overthinks everything he does, especially when it comes to his significant others and their happiness, and it slowly turns his mind into a whirlpool of doubt. Is he doing enough for them? Do they still like him? Did he do everything right when they asked him to? Do they still love him? Do they even still _like_ him? He knows that logically he’s being a bit ridiculous about the whole thing, but it’s something he can’t help, has never been able to keep himself from doing, and it’s starting to take a toll on his mental health.

It doesn’t help that unless they’re with everyone, John has been avoiding him like the plague.

Aaron isn’t really sure what he’s done, but he can tell when someone is ignoring him, can tell when someone doesn’t want him around anymore. He can feel when the other man is staring at him with a cold look while he snuggles up to Gilbert on dates, can feel his distaste permeating in the air when John makes sure he sits the furthest away from Aaron on outings or he’s in a different car than him when it’s all seven of them and they do not all fit in Aaron’s Ford Fusion. Along with his distance comes Alexander’s, even if it is only the slightest bit to make sure John isn’t reverting to old habits. No matter how many times Aaron berates himself for doubting Alexander, it still hurts. He is not sure if the others have either noticed and they’re pretending it is not a big deal, or if they are all slowly planning his separation from the group one by one. He would not be surprised by this; he just wishes they would tell him already so he could start looking for a new place to stay. Maybe Washington will let him move back in for a month or so. Aaron is pretty sure his room is still set up there from grad school.

To avoid thinking about any of this, Aaron throws himself into his work. He takes on more cases at a time than even Alexander ever would at a time, and stays late at the office every night to do his research and call in favors with the DA’s office and the firm’s go to coroner. He wakes up two hours earlier than normal so he can be ready to go before anyone else has woken up, slipping as quietly as he can from between James and Gilbert—Thomas and James have moved most of the way in by now, and they’ve had to add an extra bed to their room to accommodate for seven people; they’re just lucky they went with Aaron’s idea of renovating the apartment last year, or it would be very cramped. James catches him one time, eyebrows furrowed in a combination of sleep and confusion as to why Aaron was out of bed before the sun had even risen, and he won’t listen to Aaron when he tells the other man to just go back to sleep, he’s got a lot of work to do and if he goes in early he can come home early. They both know that’s not true, at least not the second half of the statement, but James is obviously still too tired to properly scold Aaron. With a kiss to his partner’s forehead Aaron slips the rest of the way out of from under James’ arm as James falls back into bed, burrowing his face in the pillow Aaron was using.

Aaron is always in the office by seven and he does not leave the office any earlier than ten or eleven. Washington is obviously worried about him, tells him to slow down and that his work will be here the next day, but Aaron just says _yes, sir_ with a tight smile and Washington doesn’t mention it again. After the fifth day Aaron comes into the office drained and sleep deprived, Washington forces him to lay down on the couch in his office and take a nap. He tells Aaron that Lee will finish his research for the day, and Washington will work out a deal with the judge to move his hearing for the Garner vs. Reynolds case or he’ll do it himself. Aaron goes to put up a fight, he isn’t Washington’s foster case anymore and he doesn’t need his pity, but Washington looks genuinely worried about him. He looks at Aaron like he did when Aaron was two years into law school and living on the streets and he genuinely just wanted what was best for the younger man. So Aaron settles in without a word, drifts off to the sound of Washington making calls for him, and wakes up to a blanket thrown over his shoulders and hot chocolate on the table in front of him. Neither of them talk about their shared past, something that Aaron is thankful for most of the time, but little reminders like this are good to reassure Aaron that even if his significant others are pulling away from him, he will always have this constant in his life. They may not acknowledge it in front of others, but Aaron doesn’t need that to know what they have is real.

He pretends he cannot see the worried looks his significant others shoot him when he gets home late during the week. He misses two movie nights in a row and pretends that he doesn’t see the sad looks that Madison and Hercules give him when he groggily walks in the door and walks straight past everyone to change for bed and he never goes back out to the living room. He’s been able to at least pretend that he’s okay up to now; he eats all his meals and he naps on weekends to make up for the sleep that he’s missed, but he knows that that isn’t really enough. It’s all working out, his significant others have [pretended] to believe him when he says he’s fine, and so he doesn’t think anything of it when a week and a half after their dinner he’s much more tired than he’s been since he started working his self-proclaimed schedule and his head is pounding with an oncoming migraine.

His work clothes are still on and briefcase abandoned by the foyer. He hears their voices around them but he doesn’t really know what it is they’re saying. He was already half asleep driving home—alone because Alexander stayed home with John today and Madison had gone home with Jefferson hours before Aaron even realized how late it was—so focusing in on the surrounding conversation was at the bottom of his priorities list. He does not remember falling asleep to the sound of the television playing the latest cooking competition in the background, but he must because he wakes up in the middle of the night covered in sweat and a scream stuck in his throat. Hercules and Gilbert are gathering him up from the sheets and setting him down on the cold tile of the bathroom floor. There is shuffling from the others in the other room, but Aaron focuses on the feeling of a cold rag being pressed to his forehead and drowning out all noise except for James and Hercules’ frantic words of comfort. There’s a hand on his cheek and Aaron whines at the chill of the hand even though he pushes into the touch more.

“Aaron?” Thomas’ drifts into the bathroom from where he is nervously sitting on the edge of the bed. Just behind him, Madison and Alexander are ringing their hands nervously and John looks what may be concerned but Thomas is speaking again, so he doesn’t have time to dwell on it. “Aaron, honey, what’s wrong?” Hercules sits on the floor next to him and Aaron instinctively moves his head to rest in the larger man’s lap, and Gilbert takes that as their cue to sit at Aaron’s feet and massage them and Aaron tries to relax into their embrace, but images of his grandfather and his words are still reeling through his mind and he just _can’t._ He chokes on a half sob and Jefferson slowly moves forward so that he can sin in front of Aaron place his hand softly on the trembling man’s cheek, rubbing his thumb across the dip under his eye. All Aaron can think about his how this is it; this is the moment they decide that dealing with him is too much and he’s going to go back to living on the street, and he can’t do that again. He _can’t._

The lap under his head shifts as Hercules adjusts himself under Aaron’s weight and he moves his hand to lightly scratch behind Aaron’s left ear. It’s something they learned not too long ago, something Aaron didn’t even know about when he was a kid. Whenever Aaron is panicking, or has gotten too lost in himself to form words or even thoughts, he calms down a little quicker when there is light pressure applied to the skin around the shell of his ears. He doesn’t remember how they had found out, he hadn’t even known before that instance, but he does remember that it was Thomas that had figured it out first despite only being in their relationship a few short weeks. Aaron remembers that one minute he couldn’t properly catch his breath, and the next there was a hand covering his cheeks and rubbing circles on the side of his head. It had been quite the revelation, something Aaron is sure the others wish they had known earlier, as well, but if anyone was going to figure it out, it just makes sense that it was Thomas.

“Aaron, honey,” Aaron looks up and Thomas smiles softly at him from where he’s sat as close to the other man as he knows is comfortable for him. Gilbert is still subbing his feet and muttering at him in French, but Aaron doesn’t really know what any of it means because his brain still isn’t ready to translate anything outside of Thomas’ next words. “Darlin’, would you like me to call Washington for you?” Aaron feels his eyes widen in surprise and he goes to protest, but Thomas cuts him off. “You two may think you’re subtle, but I’ve known about your familial bond since my first day back from France.” Gilbert has stopped rubbing his feet and behind Thomas, Alexander and James look confused. He can’t see John, but he imagines he’s probably a little bit confused. Aaron has never told any of them about that part of his past, but Thomas has always been too smart for Aaron’s own good, has always seen straight through every bull shit mask he’s tried to wear. Aaron goes to answer, but Alexander speaks first.

“Why on earth would we need to call Washington? It’s three o’clock in the morning, he won’t be up anyway,” he sounds confused, which makes more than a little bit of sense considering Aaron has never confided this information to anyone. Alexander keeps going, “Aaron, why would you and our boss have a ‘familial bond’ outside of the office?” All eyes go from being focused on Alexander to being focused on him, and he turns his face down so he can hide his face in Hercules’ lap for a few minutes to gather himself to tell his story. This didn’t really seem like the ideal time to try and tell this part of his story; his chest still feels constricted and his mind is racing a million miles a minute. He takes a deep breath, and when he feels Hercules scratch behind his ear again, he smiles into his significant other’s leg. “Aaron?” Aaron goes to speak, but someone beats him to it.

“Leave him alone, Alexander,” The voice belongs to John, and when he glances back up, John is frowning at him from the doorway, body rigid and eyebrows furrowed—whether it’s in concern or relation, Aaron doesn’t know. “He’s been through enough tonight, and if he wants to call Washington he doesn’t need to explain himself. You can ask him about it another day.” John leaves his perch on the doorframe for a minute to go grab Aaron’s phone and he hands it off to Thomas, a little stiffly, before he goes to get back in bed with Alexander and James. Aaron smiles at him, and there’s a light twitch in John’s lips before he schools his face again, and lays his head on James’s shoulder. Alex starts to protest, but John elbows him in the side and Thomas speaks up over him.

“John’s right, Alex,” he whispers lightly, turning back to Aaron with a questioning look on his face. “Aaron will tell us about this after he’s spoken to Washington and taken a few days off. Aaron goes to protest, because no _way_ is he taking any days this week with the Reynolds case coming to a head. Thomas must read his mind, because he glares at Aaron and continues to speak, “You do not get a say in this. You have been working yourself ragged for over a week and you just had a _nightmare._ Burr, you haven’t had a nightmare in _months.”_ Burr winces at the use of last names, and Jefferson must notice because his voice gets softer, “Aaron. We are just worried about you. Please, darling, just a few days.” There’s a small silence that settles in the air, and everyone’s eyes are on him. He knows he should agree to this, it’s the logical thing to do with the evidence Thomas has presented to him, but the words of his agreement are caught in his throat. Belatedly, Aaron realizes he hasn’t said a word vocally since he was carried out of bed. He clears his throat to try and preemptively erase any signs of soreness in his voice.

“Can I—” he coughs and tries again, “Can I call Dad, please?” There’s a hum of surprise from Gilbert, but Thomas just smiles a little sadly and hands Aaron the phone. He doesn’t move from his spot on the floor in front of Aaron as he slowly enters his passcode, his hands shaking. He drops the phone once or twice and grimaces at himself for his clumsiness and inability to complete such a simple task. The third time he drops it, he audibly huffs in frustration and Thomas calmly takes the phone from his hand and scrolls to Washington’s name, pressing the call button and raising it to his ear. “Tom—”

“If he answers I’ll give you the ph—Mr. Washington?” A pause, “Yes, sir I know how l—Sir, if I could just—Yes, sir, I am aware that you have the Seaburry case tomorrow, but if I may—Mr. Washington, please, it’s about Aaron.” There’s a pregnant pause, and Aaron uses this time to sit up from where he’s been laying to sit between Hercules and Gilbert with his head on Gilberts shoulder. Hercules lightly laces their fingers together, but Aaron can’t quite find it in himself to reciprocate the comforting gesture. He tunes back in to Thomas’ half of the conversation with Washington. “No, sir—I’m not really sure—He’s had a nightmare, though I don’t know from what—No he didn’t say his grandfather’s name when he woke up—I don’t know, sir—Yes, he’s right here—We’ve been up for about forty-five minutes now, yes—Hold on one moment, sir,” Thomas lowers the phone from his ear and turns towards Aaron, muting the phone as he does so. “Would you be okay to talk to him darlin’?” Aaron nods slightly so Thomas unmutes the phone and talks to Washington again, “He’s said yes, sir—Right, right, here he is,” Thomas winces and practically throws the phone in Aaron’s direction. Aaron takes a deep breath and raises the phone to his ear.

“Dad,” he says. His voice is scratchy and the word sounds more like a breath than an actual word, but Washington must understand.

“ _Aaron_ ,” he responds and he sounds relieved, something that isn’t surprising considering Aaron usually hates talking to people after he’s had a nightmare. “Aaron, how do you feel? What number are you at? Was this about your grandfather?” The words are back to back, no breath in between, and it makes Aaron smile a little. George has always been a little more worried and protective of him due to his past; it’s good to know that things haven’t changed over the last five years. “Aaron, please.”

“I don’t know. Eight-point-five. No.” They had developed a number system after his third month of living in the Washington’s house during law school. After nightmares and Aaron would start to calm down enough to talk to George and Martha, Aaron would tell him a number on a scale of one to ten to indicate the intensity of Aaron’s nightmares. A “one” meant it wasn’t important enough for the Washington’s to stay up with him, he would fall asleep eventually. A “ten” meant Aaron was probably going to avoid trying to sleep for at least a few days. He’s only ever had a “ten” once, but he’s never been below a “five” either. He did not have a very fun childhood.

“What do you need, Aaron?” Washington says. He sounds slightly less frantic, but considering Aaron just said one of the higher numbers on the scale, it’s understandable that he isn’t comfortable hanging up just yet. He can feel the others staring at him, and when he looks up Jefferson is smiling kindly at him. Burr smiles back the slightest amount and then turns his attention back to George. He can hear Martha starting to wake up in the background, George has never had a very soft voice, and internally winces that he’s the reason that they’re up this early in the morning when they both have busy days’ tomorrow.

“I don’t know, sir.” He whispers. There are light tears running down his face, but he ignores them to focus on George’s voice. He knows what he wants, knows what he needs after all this time, but he’s always been too afraid to voice his needs, and George knows this. George hums in encouragement and Martha is asking George about him in the background. Aaron takes a deep breath, looks at Hercules then Thomas then John, Alex, and Madison, then looks up at Gilbert, slightly more nervous than he was when he was first handed the phone. “ _Posso tornare a casa? Per favore?_ ” Faintly, Aaron hears James suck in a breath and mutter _‘Aaron’_ under his breath, but he pays him no mind.

“You can always come home, Aaron,” George says, voice soft and welcoming. He hears shuffling, and assumes that either George or Martha are getting out of bed to either go make sure his room is ready for him or turn on the kettle to make him tea. If it’s Martha, she’s more than likely doing both. “Do you want me to tell them, or do you?” he asks. When Aaron is quiet for more than five seconds, he calmly says, “Put the phone on speaker, Aaron.” Aaron does as he’s told, and when he hums to signal that the phone is on speaker and everyone can hear him, Washington continues.

“Hello boys, Lafayette. I am sure you all have many questions pertaining to tonight’s events. While there are answers I do have for you, they are not mine to give, but Aaron’s. Regardless, you will not be able to ask him about them for the next few days, because he will be coming to stay with me and Martha for tomorrow and through the weekend.” There is a short second of protest before Washington continues without even a sign of being bothered. Aaron shrinks further into Gilbert’s hold, and they tighten their grip on his middle. “You all do not have a say in this; it was Aaron’s decision and I will not allow you to make him feel bad about his choice. Do you all understand?” Everyone nods, forgetting that Washington can’t actually fucking see them, so he asks again, “Do you all understand me?” There is a chorus of _‘yes, sir’_ that sounds around the room, so Washington continues.

“This is what I need you all to get ready for him,” is the last thing Aaron hears before his brain short-circuits and he closes his eyes to try and gather himself. He hasn’t relapsed this badly in a long time, because the presence and comfort of his significant others has usually been enough. The last time Aaron had a nightmare that bad he actually _was_ still living with George and Martha, and they had almost had to take him to the emergency room his shakes were so bad. Aaron shakes his head to clear it, rubbing his forehead on Gilbert’s shirt, as he tunes back into his metaphorical father’s instructions. “—I will be there in approximately ten minutes to get him. I would like all of you to be with him waiting and ready by then. Good bye, boys. I will be there soon, _mio figlio._ ” Then Washington hangs up the phone, giving no one any chance or ability to talk back and demand answer. Aaron can still feel eyes on him, but ignores them in favor of soaking in the feeling of Hercules’ hand on his thigh and Thomas’ thumb rubbing circles on the back of his hand.

The next ten minutes pass in a giant blur for Aaron; he doesn’t remember Alexander and James packing his bag, John getting his toiletries together, Thomas and Gilbert putting him in his jacket, or even the feeling of Hercules’ hand in his as they stand on the curb and wait for George to show up. He does remember, however, the moment George’s car pulls up to the curb in front of their apartment building. He zones in somewhere between Washington getting out of the car and Thomas putting his bags in the back of the car. He blinks himself back into a state of awareness when Washington lightly and carefully grabs one of Aaron’s hands and places it over his own heart, his other hand gently lifting Aaron’s chin so that the two of them were eye level. George is smiling softly at him, eyes roaming over his face, though what it is Aaron is looking for, Aaron isn’t sure. Aaron’s free hand instinctively grips the hand that’s holding his chin up, subconsciously dismissing his significant other’s presence and the hold on Hercules’ hand he used to have. Aaron would feel worse if George’s presence didn’t make him feel so much _better._

“ _Figlio,”_ Washington says, and that’s all Aaron needs before he collapses forward into the older man’s hold. He instinctively lays his head in the crook of Washington’s neck, and Washington in turn rubs comforting circles on Aaron’s back as he cries into his father’s chest. He doesn’t have time to think about what he looks like to his significant others, what he must look like to the stragglers of the city who don’t seem to be in too much of a hurry to get home. The only thing that matters to him in that moment is the thumping of George’s heartbeat against his temple and the way the older man’s chest moves when he takes in deep and calming breaths. This is something that Aaron has missed, the feeling of having a father figure who isn’t abusive or impatient and knows just what Aaron needs to get through his day or night. There are tears running down his face and soaking George’s shirt, and he would feel bad if he didn’t know that George would poke him and call him ridiculous.

When his heartbeat feels like it’s slowed down enough that he can face his significant others, he pulls back slightly; just enough for him to turn around and face them, but not moving any closer to them for them to comfort him like he knows they want to. George lets his left hand fall to his side, and holds onto Aaron’s other hand when he takes it off his neck and reaches it back to grab at Washington’s sweater. The others are staring at him, half an amazed daze and half a worried frown sits on most of their faces. Thomas is the only one smiling knowingly and John is too busy hiding his face in Alexander’s neck, but Aaron can see that his posture is stiff and his right hand is tapping an irregular patter on Alex’s shoulder. Aaron ignores the feeling in his chest at the sight and opts to smile at everyone as reassuringly as he can manage before the attention gets to be too much and he has to squeeze George’s hand for help so he can get out of there. Thankfully, he picks up on the hint easily.

“Come on, Aaron,” he orders softly. “Say your goodbyes, _figlio_.” He lets Aaron go for a minute, pushes him forward and into the embrace of Gilbert and Hercules as he steps back to give them a sense of privacy. The two of them wraps their arms around him immediately, and he buries his head in their shoulders. He feels James come up next to him and place a hand on his neck while Alexander does the same thing with his shoulder. John lightly brushes his fingers against the outside of his hand, but pulls away almost as quickly as he initiates contact. Washington lets him have a minute, but his presence isn’t lost on Aaron. After exactly one minute and thirty seconds, George comes up behind Aaron and pulls him back by his hand. “Time to go, Aaron.”

The others are reluctant to let him go, but they must know this is a good thing for him, because they eventually all release their holds and let him be guided to the passenger side of Washington’s Chrysler. He buckles himself in, and when Washington closes the door, he immediately rests his head on the tinted windows. The others can’t see him, but he can see how hopeless they feel through the glass and he wishes more than anything that he could help them. He wishes he could be more open about this part of his life, about parts of his past that he’s sure they know he hasn’t told him. They’re huddled in on each other to fight out the biting cold of the December air, and Aaron knows they’ll stay there until the car is completely out of sight. He closes his eyes for a false sense of unknowingness, and takes deep breaths. _This isn’t permanent_ , he tells himself, _you’ll go back soon and when you’re ready they’ll welcome you back with open arms._ He wishes he believed that after all the time they’ve spent together.

The driver side door opens and closes as George gets in the car and starts it. The heat is already working from when George had driven to his apartment to begin with, so Aaron shrinks into the seat and soaks in the warmth, reveling in the contrast of feeling it brings to his skin compared to the biting winter air. He can feel George’s eyes on him, but knows the older man won’t say anything and is just trying to make sure Aaron is comfortable before he pulls off. There’s a hand placed on his leg, and Aaron smiles at the pressure on his leg. He places his own hand on top of it, and George squeezes in reassurance. “Let’s go home, _figlio_ ,” he says as he pulls his hand back and puts the car in gear. When the car pulls off Aaron feels like a weight has been taken off of his shoulders. For the first time in two weeks, Aaron feels like everything will be okay.

He always knew he could count on his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i still do not own Hamilton (what a shame)  
> i do, however have a writing blog , now ; so come talk to me [here!](http://nyckthewriter.tumblr.com)


	4. John Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“She’s never gonna wear that, y’know,” Aaron says, barely suppressing his giggles at Washington’s appearance. His dad is wearing his usual grey winter coat over a NYU sweatshirt and black jeans with black winter boots, very similar to Aaron save Aaron’s wearing a Columbia sweatshirt instead. George looks up and glares at him for half a second before not-so-softly putting the sweaters back on the shelf and stalking over to wear Aaron is leaning on the wall that separates clothes and perfumes. “For one, she hates sweaters; for two, while she lets you wear garish colors like turquoise, she’d never leave the house with it on. No matter how much you asked her to.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize Profusely for the mess that y'all are about to read  
> (let's just assume that i don't own hamilton so i don't have to type that anymore)  
> also, yes i am aware that christmas was three months ago, stop side-eyeing me, please.

Aaron stays at home for longer than he had originally planned. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be with his significant others, that he didn’t want to hang the Christmas lights with Thomas and James while Alex and John make everyone hot chocolate. He sees some of them at work, will occasionally have lunch with Gilbert and Hercules or consult with Alex and Thomas on a case they just happen to be on together—Washington may think he’s slick but Aaron knows him as well as he knows Aaron, and he knows all his tricks—and sometimes they FaceTime or Skype with one another. Aaron has just enjoyed being at home lately, has truly missed their particular brand of family that they developed over their years together. The constant presence of Martha and George sleeping just down the hall from him or working around and with each other and him like they did when he was still twenty-three and coping with having a loving family again are all events that he welcomes with open arms.

He isn’t quite sure what it is that’s keeping him from going home—his second version of home—or at least that’s what he tells himself. He ignores Martha’s worried glances during dinner and George’s questioning while they’re at work. They both think he’s being a little silly about it all, but Aaron knows them better than they think; he is able to see past their light tones and playful jabs and sees the stiffness of their shoulders and the furrows of their brows. George has started to be a little more standoffish with Alex, and in turn John, and Aaron would feel a little worse about it if George wasn’t doing it for Aaron’s own sake. It isn’t that he has stopped loving any of his significant others, it’s just that he isn’t quite used to people standing up for him in this way. He doesn’t think George would stop even if he asked him to, would just do it in secret when Aaron wasn’t around. Martha, of course, is feeding off of George and when she comes by the office to visit, she very deliberately stops only by Aaron’s and Thomas’ offices before or after she has lunch with George before she leaves without another word.

Aaron is sure it isn’t really helping fix things with John, or any of them really, but his concern right now, as he tries to decide where he’s going to spend the holidays, is trying to make sure that George doesn’t buy Martha the horrendous sweater he’s set his eyes on. He smiles fondly at his father as he sifts through the colors Macy’s offers, grumbling under his breath.

“She’s never gonna wear that, y’know,” Aaron says, barely suppressing his giggles at Washington’s appearance. His dad is wearing his usual grey winter coat over a NYU sweatshirt and black jeans with black winter boots, very similar to Aaron's, save Aaron’s wearing a Columbia sweatshirt instead. The article of clothing that stands out, however, is the bright turquoise scarf around his neck, hand-knitted and looks uncomfortable scratchy. Aaron isn’t really sure what George was thinking when he bought it, doesn’t know why the hell Martha didn’t make him return it, but he doesn’t comment. George looks up and glares at him for half a second before not-so-softly putting the sweaters back on the shelf and stalking over to wear Aaron is leaning on the wall that separates clothes and perfumes. “For one, she hates sweaters; for two, while she lets you wear garish colors like turquoise, she’d never leave the house with it on. No matter how much you asked her to.”

“Then what do you suggest, Mr. Know-It-All? I had no idea you knew my wife better than I did,” He walks past Aaron as the younger man laughs at his disdain, and leaves Macy’s to slowly walk through the rest of the mall. There are people everywhere, lots of last minute shoppers like him and Dad, and so it takes some time for Aaron to catch up to him. He’s still grumbling under his breath, but smiles a bit when Aaron laces their pinkies together.

“She is my mom,” Aaron says, and then adds a little smugly, “Also, she knows you too well and specifically told me not to let you buy any colors for her that you can’t fight in an eight-pack Crayon box. She loves you, but not enough to wear colors you don’t learn in Kindergarten.” George looks outraged, and now Aaron openly laughs at the look on his father’s face. “I’m kidding, dad. I’m just trying to save my own eyes for having to look at your garish scarf colors more than I have to.” George rolls his eyes at the quip and pulls them toward the escalator so they can go to the Pandora store near the food court. Aaron squeezes George’s finger in approval when they walk in, and lets his dad go when he’s approached by a sales associate. He smiles at the overwhelmed look on Dad’s face, and rests against the frame while he lets his mind wander.

They haven’t mentioned it yet, today, but they bother know that Aaron has his other family that he needs to be shopping for, even if he hasn’t been home in over two weeks. George is going with him to pick up James’ husky tomorrow, and he’s had Thomas and Hercules’ New York fashion week tickets for quite some time now. Gilbert’s Swarovski set has been picked out and hidden in Martha’s closet for some time now, and Alexander’s two tickets to go home and visit Usnavi were bought last week. Aaron doesn’t usually splurge, or that’s what he’ll tell people, but these are the loves of his life and he’ll do anything to show them he loves them. He hasn’t decided what he wants to get John, but he knows the younger man will tut at him for spending so much money no matter what it is. He smiles sadly at George when he glances his way, nods in approval when George holds up a charm, and laughs when the older man practically beams with the approval. When his dad turns back around, he lets his smile fall from his face and stares at his shoes, allowing himself to zone out and focus on his thoughts.

His first day back at the Washington’s, George and Martha had both stayed home from work to keep him company and to help prevent him from having an episode. It was mostly successful, until they had gone on about how much his significant others loved him and he immediately became a train wreck. He curled up on the couch with his head in Dad’s lap and his feet in Mom’s and after he was able to stop crying for more than a minute at a time he had told them everything. He told them about how he felt like an outcast, a seventh piece to a puzzle that didn’t really fit into place. He told them about John’s ever-growing distance the other man had been putting between himself and Aaron, that that was why Aaron had been throwing himself into work and avoiding going home when he could. He told them about his nightmares, how they seemed to increase in intensity the less sleep he got and how finally on that night his mind just _snapped_. About how in all of his dreams lately have been his partners abandoning him, humiliating him in public like it’s second nature, his grandfather and sister showing up to help them along, to help cast Aaron out of the first loving relationship he’s had in years. He tells them this and he cries and cries and _cries_. He cries until he can’t anymore and it had become too hard for him to stay awake.

When he had woken up again he was in bed, George curled under the covers with him, lightly tracing his face and softly smiling at him as he woke. They didn’t say anything, they didn’t really need to after years of knowing each other, and Aaron closed his eyes contentedly and allowed himself to go back to sleep. His subconscious tried to make him panic, tried to come up with scenario after scenario to make him flip his shit and react more drastically than needed. But every time George was there; in his subconscious and when he woke up, and Aaron knew he didn’t have to worry about having an attack when he was at home. He knew he was undeniably safe from all the panic he had caused himself. It was the first night in those two and-a-half weeks that Aaron slept peacefully through the night.

He’s shaken out of his thoughts by a hand lightly landing on his shoulder, and he goes into defense mode until he recognizes Washington’s hideous black boots in his line of sight and he lets his body relax. When he looks up, George is smiling at him with a Pandora bag in his free hand and a question in his eyes. Aaron shakes his head and they leave the store quietly, as if they had never even been there. Washington grabs his finger again as they head toward the exit, and the younger man squeezes to show his appreciation. They walk in silence, each other’s presence more than enough to keep one another grounded as they walk out the exit closest to their car and through the parking lot. Across the street from the mall is a miniature art gallery, one that local artists use to get their name out there and help raise money for nonprofit charities. An idea strikes Aaron in that moment, one that he’s had on his mind since the six month anniversary he had before Thomas and James had joined all of them. He climbs in the car and leans his head against the window, quietly offering George company as the two of them drive home.

When they’re about two-thirds of the way home, Aaron says, “I want to put John’s work in the museum.” His voice is more of a whisper, and he continues to stare out the window rather than turn his gaze towards Washington. He can feel the older man’s stare when they stop at the light around the corner from the house, and when he turns to meet that look he can feel tears well up in his eyes. George reaches across the console to place a hand on Aaron’s knee, and all he does to show Aaron that he understands is nod his head before he turns his attention back to the road and finishes the drive home. Christmas is in five days, it will be a hard task to accomplish, but him and Washington are both pretty resourceful and well known in town, so it shouldn’t be too hard to accomplish. When dinner time comes and goes, and he’s lying on the couch with his parents, he says, “I’ll call Gilbert in the morning. They’ll be pretty upset if I go get Timber without them knowing.” He can feel their eyes on him, but he closes his eyes and lets himself drift off to sleep.

-x-

The next few days are rather hectic.

Gilbert, of course, is ecstatic that Aaron wants them to join him at the dog shelter, and spends the entire trip practically smothering Aaron with hugs and sweet words. Aaron bears it, mostly because he’s missed them so much and hasn’t had much physical affection outside of Martha and George since Aaron left. When they get to the shelter, Gilbert coos over Timber like she’s the sweetest thing in the world, and Aaron smiles at the sight while he takes a few pictures of the puppy curling itself into Lafayette’s chest. The two of them take the puppy to get its vaccinations and then straight to George and Martha’s house. Timber doesn’t do much but sleep during Gilbert’s visit, so they and Aaron spend that time cuddled on the couch before they must leave and try to avoid causing suspicion amongst the others. Gilbert is reluctant to leave, but Aaron just kisses their nose and tells them that he’ll be home soon enough. Gilbert has been trying all night to get him to tell them about what Aaron is doing for Christmas, but Aaron has been distracting them with kisses. Considering Gilbert walks to their car without asking again what he got anyone for Christmas, Aaron feels pretty successful.

Later that night, when he knows John and Alexander are out at a movie, he Skypes Hercules, James and Gilbert and lets them in on his plan for John. Hercules smiles like an idiot through the entire call, so it’s up to James and Gilbert to sneak into John’s studio and find at least three pieces that John likes the most so James can bring them to him at work on Wednesday. Timber jumps on his stomach about halfway through, and it’s by sheer luck that James isn’t paying attention when it happens so Aaron can adjust his camera to hide the sleeping puppy. They part ways with smiles and _I love you_ ’s, and the plan is put in place. Aaron takes Timber outside and then they immediately go to bed, the day’s exhaustion catching up to the both of them. Aaron crosses his fingers as he falls asleep and hopes for the best.

On Tuesday Aaron goes to the gallery to meet with Franklin, the owner of the gallery and the host of the Christmas Eve art show. They have a nice lunch, a three course meal that Franklin has specially made because he knows Aaron from childhood and always looks for ways to spoil the younger man, and talk for a while before they actually talk about why Aaron wanted to meet in the first place. Aaron smiles bashfully when Ben raises an eyebrow at him, cause Ben to simply laugh and clap Aaron on the shoulder. “Young man, I have known you since you were eight. I know when you need a favor, and you know I’m always willing to help you. You always did deserve better than that rat of a grandfather you had. Anyway—what can I do for you, son?” Aaron blinks at the subject changes before he composes himself, relaxes in his seat, and explains to good ole Ben what he wants to do for John. Ben looks rather pensive by the end of Aaron’s speech, but he’s smiling, so Aaron’s hoping that means he’s go a bit of a chance.

“I’ll check the exhibition hall set-up and see what I’ve got. I’m sure I have at least one space available, could probably even make it a main piece. I’ll give you a call later today and let you know.”  Aaron smiles gratefully and hugs the man a little tighter than he usually would due to the length of time it’s been since they last saw each other properly. Aaron spends the rest of the day on edge, lets Gil, James and Herc know about his meeting with Ben, and then pours himself into color-coordinating suits and a dress for them to wear the night of the art show. He knows he hasn’t gotten the go ahead yet, but Ben would have told him no at lunch if he didn’t think there was a chance. So when Ben calls around five o’clock with a loud laugh and good news, Burr orders everything and tells Hercules that he’ll be going with him to pick everything up on Thursday. Hercules, as expected, whines a bit about Aaron not letting Hercules make their outfits, but Aaron very calmly reminds him that he has real orders to fill and that there simply isn’t enough time to make six tuxes and a dress in two day’s-time. Hercules still grumbles, but agrees to go with Aaron anyway.

On Wednesday James meets Aaron outside of work to slip Aaron John’s canvas pieces and drives with him to the museum to meet Ben and pick up their tickets so they can actually get into the show. Ben takes to James rather easily, and by the time the three of them are done, James and Ben are scheduled to go to a pottery class together the week after New Year’s. James looks rather confused as to how it happened, but he looks happy to have a new friend regardless. They grab a very quick lunch before they go back to work and pretend they haven’t been planning secret Christmas plans behind everyone’s back. Thursday is a pretty similar experience when Hercules picks him up from work at the end of the day to go get everyone’s clothes. Hercules glares at the suit and dress’s bags the entire ride back to Washington’s house until Aaron give him a kiss and tells him he’ll show him James’ gift as long as he stops pouting.

Aaron takes exactly 32 pictures of Hercules meeting Timber for the first time, but you’ll never get him to admit it.

Aaron keeps everything at George and Martha’s house in the second guest room and walks Hercules to his car. Hercules whines at him for not coming home when, “Christmas is two days away, Aaron. Please come home.” Aaron smiles softly at him and cradles his face in both hands before kissing his forehead and rubbing circles on the other man’s cheeks. They stay like that for a moment, Hercules’ head sticking out of his window and Aaron rubbing reassuring patterns under his eyes. The moment is nice, peaceful, and Aaron is man enough to admit that he’s missed this, missed having this man in his life. “John misses you,” Hercules whispers some time later, and it Aaron’s breath hitches in surprise. “I know…I know it probably hasn’t seemed like it lately, but he really does love you. He just—he’s not used to you not picking him first is all.” Aaron nods in understanding, but doesn’t make any comment. When he pulls back from Hercules, he smiles at him softly before kissing him one more time and stepping away from the car. “I’ll make sure everyone is here by five tomorrow for dinner, and then we’ll go to the show after.” Aaron nods and watches Hercules pull down the driveway before going inside and helping Martha make Christmas cookies for the fire department.

Neither of them comment on the tear-tracks on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise this wasn't supposed to be two parts, but john's chapter is almost as long as the entire fic itself so please bear with me. on my next post i will have a poll i'll need you guys to answer so be on the look out !  
> anyway, i hope you guys enjoyed this, please don't be too mad at me.  
> come talk to me [here](http://nyckthewriter.tumblr.com) if you really want to.  
> i might be willing to give away a spoiler or two if you're nice.  
> see you guys next week !


	5. interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He spends the afternoon with Hercules making alterations to his tux and then going to Franklin’s Gallery to make sure John’s work still looks undamaged and to pay any last-minute fees. Ben tries to keep him from paying, but Hercules makes not so subtle hints that Aaron hates handouts and not taking care of people that take care of him, and Ben eventually takes the money. Throughout the exchange Hercules and Ben keep exchanging knowing looks, and Aaron’s sure it has to do with John’s work. When James had given it to him, one of the three pieces had been covered, and when Aaron went to look at what it was the other man had slapped his hand and told him he wasn’t allowed to peak. He wasn’t sure what the big deal was, but he had just shrugged and kissed James on the forehead before driving off._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was going to skip this part of the story, but the other half of John's part just doesn't work without this, so...enjoy this impromptu chapter. I apologize for any inaccuracies, of course. 
> 
> Thanks for your continues support!

Friday is a very busy day. First, Aaron gives James his present at the office Christmas party. He ties a bow loosely around Timber’s neck, clips her leash to her collar and puts her in the back seat of George’s Chrysler. She loves car rides and she loves Aaron, so it isn’t hard to get her in the car. They get to the office much earlier than they usually would so Aaron can set up Timber’s stuff in James’ room and he takes his time doing so. Ten minutes later finds Alex and Thomas arguing about God know what, causing Angelica to retreat to her office and Aaron rushing to take Timber with him to his. Alex walks in a few minutes later, sees the dog, then promptly walks back out again. Timber, care-free dog that she is, takes it in stride and lays at Aaron’s feet while they wait for James to go into his office and then come into Aaron’s. It takes two minutes and twenty-three seconds before- “Burr!” is heard around the office, and the man in question just smiles to himself as his boyfriend stalks through the hallway.

After James finds him and puts two and two together, James snatches Timber from him and goes back to his office until lunch time. He not-so surprisingly receives a text from James and Thomas around noon for lunch, and the three of them go for a walk in the park to allow their new friend time to stretch her legs. Aaron clues Thomas in about tonight’s plans, and the curly-haired man is practically bouncing with excitement. They all know how badly John has wanted to put his work on display, but every time he’s tried the roster has been full or he doesn’t have the “right kind” of art that the exhibitors are looking for. It’s always had a horrible impact on John’s self-esteem, and one time he almost completely quit making art all together. Aaron makes Thomas swear three different times that he won’t tell John anything, and agree to help Hercules get everyone to dinner on time tonight. When they get back to the office, Alex looks a little put out that he wasn’t invited, but Aaron just kisses the bridge of his nose and scurries off to his office to get at least some real work done before he dips out to skip the party.

He spends the afternoon with Hercules making alterations to his tux and then going to Franklin’s Gallery to make sure John’s work still looks undamaged and to pay any last-minute fees. Ben tries to keep him from paying, but Hercules makes not so subtle hints that Aaron hates handouts and not taking care of people that take care of him, and Ben eventually takes the money. Throughout the exchange Hercules and Ben keep exchanging knowing looks, and Aaron’s sure it has to do with John’s work. When James had given it to him, one of the three pieces had been covered, and when Aaron went to look at what it was the other man had slapped his hand and told him he wasn’t allowed to peak. He wasn’t sure what the big deal was, but he had just shrugged and kissed James on the forehead before driving off.

They help Ben set up some of their decorations before they get a text that the party is over and Alex and the others need Hercules to pick them up. They swing by the Washington’s first to drop Aaron off and then Hercules is gone, and Aaron starts preparing Christmas Eve dinner for everyone. Martha comes home halfway through and takes over the macaroni so Aaron can start the sweet potatoes. They work around each other seamlessly, and it reminds Aaron of the last Christmas he spent at home; gaudy decorations hung all over the kitchen and Christmas carols lightly playing in the background. Aaron smiles as he places the marshmallows on top and places the baking pan in the oven to finish. The ham has been cooking on low since he and Hercules first came home, and he turned it up to the right temperature when he got home. After everything is either cooking or been taking out to cool off, he and Martha watch reruns of _Castle_ until the others get home. It’s relaxing, a nice calm before the storm that is about to hit when the others arrive.

When the doorbell rings at exactly five o’clock, Aaron and the Washington’s are wearing their matching Christmas sweaters and the table has been set for the nine of them. When Aaron lets the others in, he sees they’re all in various states of matching one another and James has brought Timber along. She barks happily and pulls at her leash when she sees him, and Aaron laughs and crouches to pet her obligingly when she jumps on his leg. Everyone hangs their coats on the rack and head directly to the kitchen; none of them had eaten very much at the party simply because of this dinner, so Aaron isn’t surprised they’re all eager to sit down and dig in. By the time Aaron is done petting Timber and taking her leash off, everyone else has claimed their spots at the table. The spot between John and Washington is unsubtly left unoccupied and Aaron internally rolls his eyes before he moves to his seat. Martha says grace, Washington cuts the ham, and dinner begins. Conversation flows easy, like George and Martha haven’t been harboring Aaron from his own relationship for almost three weeks. Everyone is smiling and happy and touching each other in one way or another, and Aaron smiles into his chest at how warm he feels. When about an hour has passed, and everyone is only sitting at the table because they don’t want to get up, Martha shoos everyone to the living room while she and Aaron clean up and put everyone’s plates in the dishwasher for later.

When everything is done Martha nudges Aaron towards his room and he quickly runs upstairs to grab the various boxes, envelopes and garment bags from his room. It takes several trips and he can feel everyone staring at him rather strangely, but George is good at distractions and everyone save Hercules is easily impressed with his magic tricks. He lays everything out on the coffee table and sits behind it where everyone can see him. He takes a deep breath and starts talking. “So I know Christmas is tomorrow, but…I’ve been away for a while and I wanted to give you guys these now.” Everyone is looking at him rather curiously; Gilbert and James just have their eyebrows raised in his direction, Hercules is smiling encouragingly, and Alex and John are leaning forward with anticipation. “I know…I know I haven’t been around much—be quiet Gilbert, let me speak—and I know you don’t blame me for any of what’s happened. But—but I also know that it hasn’t been easy on any of you. And while I know you probably don’t want to hear this, I am so sorry. I’ve been getting better; Dad’s been helping me, and I think,” he cuts a glance at George and Martha, at their smiles of encouragement and smiles back before turning to his significant others once more, “I think I’m ready to come home.”

His statement is met with silence at first, almost like all the air has been sucked out of the room and no one is capable of movement. Aaron can see his significant others almost don’t believe him, a mix of hopeful and wary expressions throughout the group. He smiles encouragingly at them, and the first one to react is Gilbert. Their face lights up with a blinding smile and they practically smother Aaron when they tackle him with a hug. Their arms are squeezed tight around his neck, and Aaron wraps his arms around their waist and buries his face in their neck. Distantly, Aaron can feel and hear the others surrounding him with Gilbert and he smiles. He can feel Hercules sitting as his back and James and Thomas on either side of him with their hands gripping the fabric of his sweater. There are two people gripping his hands, who he can only assume is Alex and John, and Aaron feels like he could cry. He probably would cry if he had the time to dwell on it, but he doesn’t let himself; not yet, anyway. He’s missed this, missed the feeling of the loves of his life surrounding him and smothering him in hugs and kisses and sweet words.

After a few minutes George clears his throat, and everyone slowly leans back from Aaron to look his direction. The older man taps his index finger on the face of his watch, and looks at Aaron with a raised eyebrow. “Alright kids, up you get. Let’s open presents and then you all need to get a move on.” Everyone looks a mix between confused and offended that George is rushing their official reunion, but Aaron’s eyes widen in realization at the clock on the wall and he softly nudges everyone back to the sofa. Everyone except Hercules listens to him, and Aaron just rolls his eyes at his boyfriends’ antics, letting him cling to his back as he sets up the gifts to be handed out. James’ gift is currently sprawled out by his feet and snoring softly. Aaron smiles at how quickly Timber warmed up to James, and then turns his attention to the others on the sofa. He doesn’t really know how to pick who to start with without feeling like he’s choosing favorites, and George must sense his hesitation because he says, “Why don’t you just give them all out at once, Son. They can open them all at the same time and can hug and smother you after you get home.” Aaron smiles at the other man, and does just that.

He lightly pushes Hercules off of him with a “You have to open yours with Tom, love. Why don’t you go sit with him, and we can cuddle later, yeah?” He can feel the bigger man frown into his neck, but he nods in agreement and goes to cling to Thomas instead. Aaron hands Gilbert his box, and the others the two envelopes that they can open in pairs. James moves to sit where Hercules was and Timber follows him. Aaron scratches lightly behind her ears and smiles when she pushes up into the gesture. Right before everyone tears into their gifts, he says, “None of you are allowed to yell at me for this. It’s Christmas, be mad at me next year.” They all pause, looking between Aaron and their gifts warily, before Alexander and John shrug and rip into their envelope. Hercules and Thomas follow along, and finally so does Gilbert, and he can tell the exact moment they all understand what he meant. He closes his eyes with a smile as he waits for their onslaught of expletives.

“Aaron Burr, you son-of-a bitch,” Alexander says, first. “Uh, no offense Mr. and Mrs. Washington,” he quickly adds afterwards, and Aaron and his parents laugh at him before George says something about not being bothered. Alex quickly moves on, “I cannot _believe_ you—I really get to see Usnavi?” Aaron nods, opening his eyes to see the look on the other man’s face. Alex and John look equal parts unbelieving and in awe, and Aaron smiles. There are tears running down Alex’s face and it takes everything in Aaron’s body not to go up to him and wipe them off with the pad of his thumb. John does it for him, nodding at Aaron when he relaxes at the sight. The next of them that yells at him, or tries to, is Gilbert. There’s a sharp intake of breath that they give, and everyone is staring at them as they do nothing but stare at the box in front of them. Out of the corner of his eyes, he can see Hercules and Thomas react in similar ways, but anything they’re about to say is drowned out by Gilbert.

“Aaron,” they start with. “Aaron, these are—this is a _Swarovski_ custom set. You bought me a personalized Swarovski jewelry set.” They raise their head to stare at him. “ _Mon amour_ , it’s beautiful.” Aaron ducks his head to hide his blush, but apparently, Gilbert is having none of that, today. They set their present carefully down on the coffee table and crawl towards where Aaron and James sit. They lightly nudge James from his spot—he goes, albeit grudgingly and with curses on his lips. Timber barks along with him and curls next to his chest when he lays on the floor—and lightly puts his index finger under Aaron’s chin, using it to tilt Aaron’s head up so they can look him in the eyes. They stay like that so they can say, “Thank you, Aaron. They truly are beautiful, _mon ange_.” Aaron smiles shyly at them, blushing once more when they kiss his forehead, then the bridge of his nose and finally his lips. It’s a light, barely there brush of the lips, but it’s the most wonderful feeling he’s ever felt. When Gilbert pulls back they smile at him. He only gets a second to drink in their expression before a very shrill Hercules and Thomas have grabbed his attention.

“ _Fashion week_?” they both say. Hercules continues with, “You got us tickets to fashion week? But how?” Thomas is just muttering nonsensical thanks, and Aaron just smiles and shrugs. Aaron I’ve wanted to go to fashion week for _years_ , I can’t believe you were able to get these for us. Thank you so much.” Thomas nods his head in agreement, opens his mouth to interject and praise his own thanks when Washington jumps in.

“If we keep going around and thanking Aaron, you’ll never get to know what John’s gift is,” he says, and everyone’s focus whips to John while the man in question’s gaze whips to Aaron. “This is very sweet, and I know you all have missed Aaron, but your night hasn’t even begun, so if you would so kindly wait to smother my son until later tonight or tomorrow, that would be fantastic.” Aaron rises from his position on the floor and goes to stand next to the garment bags. All attention was on him again, and before Aaron could say anything, George whipped out seven tickets and said, “Who wants to go to an art show?” Aaron and Martha started handing out garment bags to everyone, ignoring the weird feeling that was forming in the pit of his stomach. Everyone was standing now, no one knowing if they should be staring at disbelief at Aaron or at their bags.

Aaron smiles at them all, but his gaze is locked on John; John who he loves with all his heart, who he would give the world to, who he never wants to let go of for all of time. John, who looks on the verge of tears, but won’t allow himself to be comforted by those around him, who won’t allow himself to move to Aaron like everyone can see he wants to do. Instead of making a big deal of it, Aaron gives a small smile.

“Surprise?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was so bad, I'm so sorry you had to sit through that.  
> Anyway, it's survery time! YHIM only has a few chapters left, but I'm letting you guys decide how to do it! As readers, from now until April 1st, you will be able to vote on how everyone after John is set up. There are four options so read and choose carefully. The survey can be found [here](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/ZGNVJST) and is now open! May the best choice win.  
> As always, you can find me and talk to me [here](http://poesuitsfinn.tumblr.com)!


	6. John II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the end, they only take ten extra minutes to get ready than Aaron wanted, but they’re still late leaving because Martha insists on taking at least twenty pictures of them in their matching clothing, which puts them seven more minutes behind than Aaron wanted. At some point Alexander says, “Hey, James, fallen into any giant peaches lately?” It takes James absolutely no time to smack the back of Alex’s head, and even less time for John to flick his forehead. Alex pouts the rest of the time they take pictures, and refuses to ride in the same vehicle as them on the way to the show. So, James, John, and Hercules ride with Aaron while Alex and Thomas ride with Gilbert. Aaron may or may not break a few traffic laws to get there as close to on time as possible, but no one dares call him on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here! I'm so, so sorry it has taken my so long to get this next chapter to you. I have been half-dead for the last month with my jobs and starting an internship, and I hope the little Superhero thing i started last week was good enough to hold you over for this update. I hope this is good enough to make the wait worth it. Enjoy!

Hercules pouts when they first open their garment bags, going to protest about Aaron not having asked Hercules to do custom work for them, but Aaron just rolls he eyes and very firmly points out that the other man already works too much as it is and that defeats the point of them being _surprise gifts_. Everyone nods their agreement, and Hercules flushes with embarrassment for a second before Aaron kisses his cheek and herds him and the others up to his old bedroom. He feels like he should be more nervous about them seeing it for the first time, but he isn’t bothered at all when he pushes the door open and strides in without any hesitation. His room is extremely spacious, maybe the size of their living room and dining room back at their apartment. There aren’t many decorations on the walls, but it’s obviously lived in, and there are family portraits strewn about the room. When he turns back around once he’s gotten his own suit out of the closet, there are looks of astonishment on everyone’s face. He flushes, but ignores it, knowing they’re on a time limit.

“You guys are making this weirder than it needs to be,” he says, snapping them out of their trances. He smiles at them and continues, “We need to leave in the next 35 minutes, which means Gilbert gets bathroom privileges because they’ll have to adjust their makeup for the show.” Aaron walks over to the door, and swings it open; Gilbert’s makeup kit is sitting on the counter, brushes and all, and his significant other squeals in delight before rushing into the bathroom. “Laf, please don’t get any makeup on that dress—Maria will actually kill me.” Gilbert laughs in response and hangs their garment bag on the hook on the bathroom door before immediately getting to work on making their makeup a more neutral color, but still plenty bold, look. Aaron thinks about the fact that he knows what products are for what look and shrugs it off—Gilbert has taught him a lot about makeup over the years, it isn’t really that surprising. He turns back to everyone else.

“While Gilbert is doing that three of us can get ready in here, and the other three can get ready in Mom’s and Dad’s rooms. James, John, and Hercules you use their room. It’s down the hall at the very end. John when you’re done, I can braid your hair if you want.” John still seems to be in a bit of a daze, so he just nods his head, and follows blindly behind James and Hercules when they lead him out of the room. The moment the door closes, Thomas and Alex turn to Aaron, sharing a brief look with one another, before stalking across the room and enveloping him in a hug, Aaron embracing them back. They stand there for a moment, wrapped up in one another, before Gilbert sticks their head out the door and clears their throat. The three men separate, and turn to look at their significant other.

“As cute as that is,” they say, “you’re the one who put us on a time limit, mon amour. And I’m sure you two are more than a little curious to see what our little Burr has planned for this evening, yes?” They raise one of their perfectly sculpted eyebrows as if daring any of them to protest, and when none of them do, Gilbert smiles with glee. “Aaron, darling, I do have one question.” Lafayette pulls their head back into the bathroom and Aaron pushes Thomas and Alex to start getting dressed while he goes to help Gilbert. Gilbert’s more than halfway done with their makeup, and it’s barely been ten minutes; Aaron will never understand how they remember which product to use in that short amount of time, but he commends Gilbert for it. Leaning on the doorframe of the bathroom, Aaron taps Gilbert’s shoulders for them to continue. “How exactly did you know all of our measurements to get these lovely gowns and tuxes made?” Aaron raises his eyebrows at the question. There are many Gilbert could have asked, this not being very high on the list Aaron had in his head.

“Hercules has a list of all of our measurements both in his office at home and in his workshop. I have a key to said workshop, because you all deemed me the one responsible for ‘dragging him out by his ears if he worked for more than two days straight.’” Laf looks at him skeptically in the mirror while he picks out his eyeshadow, then shrugs as if it never mattered. Aaron doesn’t question it. Considering he hasn’t been home in god knows how long, it would make sense that Gilbert didn’t fully understand how Aaron could pull this off. “Plus when he was altering mine—which I told him was for a benefit Dad and I were going to—I was able to rifle through his Signif Info Only drawer for the info. Yes, he has one of those, before any of you three ask,” Aaron laughs as he turns around and sees looks of surprise on Alex and Thomas’ face, Hercules, James, and John frozen in place on their way in the door. Everyone turns to look at Hercules, and Aaron can see the smallest hint of a blush on his dark skin. “You guys can question him after the show. Herc, please fix Alex’s hair into something more passable than a haphazardly done bun, and John, if you look in my armoire there is a small black box with your name on it; get that and have a seat in the chair.” Everyone moves to their spots, Thomas and James taking the default spots next to the bathroom to start on Gilbert’s hair themselves.

Aaron strolls up behind John’s chair, taking the fine-tooth comb out to work on detangling and parting John’s hair. “One for buns, two for French braid, or three for waterfall.” John hesitates for a minute before holding up two fingers, and Aaron gets to work. The room is quiet after that, Alex is half-asleep while Hercules pulls and arranges his hair, James and Thomas are whispering to Gilbert as they take their curls and form them into a braids/space buns hairdo—it looks very complicated, Aaron could probably never do it—and John’s head is down as he waits for Aaron’s instructions on how to hold his head. When Aaron’s alarm to leave goes off, none of them are ready yet, and Aaron groans internally as he ties off John’s hair. Taking the black box from John’s hand, he takes three burets out. He puts one on the front, right side of his head and uses the other two to secure John’s hair in the back where he’s folded under itself so it’s less of a hassle throughout the night. He checks his watch, and sighs when it reads 6:40. “I’m going to go change in Dad’s room. Please have Gilbert and yourselves ready by the time I’m done. We’re going to be late. Hercules nods his assent, and Aaron practically runs to his parents’ room to strip out of his dinner clothes and into his art show clothes.

His suit, like everyone’s except John’s is simple and black, with a colored neck tie to create a palette based around Gilbert’s dress—John’s suit has thin pinstripes of deep grey that almost blend into the suit. He folds up his worn clothes and rushes back down the hall to put them in his suitcase, and make sure everyone else is ready. When he sees that they are, he almost cries in relief. Maybe they won’t be late after all. He takes a moment to admire them all; Gilbert stands tall and elegant in a smooth, red dress with their hair pulled up tightly to their head, James to their left is wearing a peach colored tie identical to the one Aaron has on. Alex is standing next to James, fidgeting with his yellow tie despite James’ attempts to get him to leave it alone, and next to Alex is Hercules wearing a red tie the exact same shade as Gilbert’s dress. To Gilbert’s right stands Thomas and John, both wearing the same soft yellow tie around their necks that Alex has on, both less bothered by its existence than their boyfriend. They haven’t noticed him yet, everyone still caught up in their conversations, and Aaron takes the opportunity to take a step back, carefully pulling his phone out of his pocket, and snapping a picture. He sends it to Eliza with requests to have it printed as soon as her schedule allows it, then steps back in the room and knocks on the doorframe. Everyone turns to him, and he smiles as he thinks about how lucky he is. He straightens up, angling his body to the side and straightening his arm out as he says, “Let’s get going, shall we?”

-x-

In the end, they only take ten extra minutes to get ready than Aaron wanted, but they’re still late leaving because Martha insists on taking at least twenty pictures of them in their matching clothing, which puts them seven more minutes behind than Aaron wanted. At some point Alexander says, “Hey, James, fallen into any giant peaches lately?” It takes James absolutely no time to smack the back of Alex’s head, and even less time for John to flick his forehead. Alex pouts the rest of the time they take pictures, and refuses to ride in the same vehicle as them on the way to the show. So, James, John, and Hercules ride with Aaron while Alex and Thomas ride with Gilbert. Aaron may or may not break a few traffic laws to get there as close to on time as possible, but no one dares call him on it.

When they finally get to the art show, only ten minutes later than Aaron wanted them to be, Aaron helps John out of the backseat and hands the car keys to a valet. Thomas, pulling up behind them, helps Gilbert out before he hands his keys off, also. They meet in the middle, linking arms and holding hands with one another, before they quickly go through security check and into the gallery. There are paintings, sketches, sculptures, and more in every corner of the typically empty space. Art shows happen seasonally at Ben’s place, other times it’s used for the University to conduct how-to workshops or host Galas for special events. It’s a pretty popular place, Ben is sure to never run out of money as long as this place stays open, but Aaron much prefers the calmers aura that comes with art shows than having to kiss the asses of D.C. officials that come around every so often. He’s brought out of his thoughts by a light touch on his elbow, and Aaron tenses up before turning and realizing it’s only Hercules. The taller man smiles, and Aaron nods at him in reassurance. Hand in hand, they follow the others where they’ve already started looking around at the various galleries. Two of John’s works, the one’s Aaron were _allowed_ to see, will be closer to the middle of the gallery as they’re paintings, but the last one will be presented with two other main showcase pieces. It’s schedules to happen about half-way through the night, and Aaron shoves his anxiety on not knowing what it is aside for the time being and focuses on enjoying time with Hercules and the others.

The sculptures are showcased first; some are hanging, some mounted on the wall or a pillar, others sitting directly on the ground. Aaron applauds anyone that can make any art, music or painting or otherwise, but people who sculpt? Let’s just say that the only “sculpting” work Aaron did was in his sophomore year elective class, and John still mocks him to this day about how much his mug looks like a deformed bong. Many of the sculptures are of people or parts of the body in motion, but there is a great deal of them that are of concepts, animals, and the like. They’re all quite beautiful, and if Aaron wasn’t on a schedule, he’s take his time admiring them a bit more. However, they were already ten minutes late which meant from the time they walked in they only had about forty minutes to get to the paintings section before the showcase pieces were presented. Which gives them twenty minutes in each exhibit before showcase and then a second dinner they’re having with Ben and his wife. While Gilbert, Hercules, and Thomas are focused on a very intricate sculpture of a butterfly coming out of its cocoon, Aaron chances a look at John, and his heart jumps into his throat.

John looks beautiful; his body is relaxed and loose, curly hair flowing beautifully in its half-braided-half-down style. His eyes shine with glee and amazement as he takes in all the art works around him, seemingly unable to decide where exactly he wants to put his attention because his gaze flits from one sculpture to the next and back again repeatedly. Alexander, who has been glued to John’s side all night, is paying as little attention to the art as Aaron is. As John animatedly talks about and admires every piece he comes across, Alexander stares lovingly at their boyfriend, being sure to nod in the right places and ask questions in the others. Aaron smiles and pulls out his phone to snap a few pictures. The two of them, John and Alex, are beautiful, and Aaron’s chest hurts with how much he loves them and how much he’s missed them. A finger taps his shoulder, and when he turns around James is smiling at him softly. Aaron smiles back before moving towards John and Alexander to herd them towards the painting exhibits. He places a light hand on John’s arm, smiles when he looks at Aaron in surprise and moves towards the paintings before John can react too much more. Aaron has a lot of lost time to make up for, but that’s going to be for later. He can feel some of the others looking at him, but he moves through the exhibit and ignores the anxious feeling in the back of his head.

While they’re in the painting half of the show, Aaron keeps as much distance from John as possible. He stays at paintings spaced away from ones his boyfriend is looking at and ignores the gaze that’s boring holes into the side of his head as he looks at an abstract water color painting of what he thinks is meant to be a castle. The closer he gets to the ending, the closer he gets to John’s work, the more nervous he seems to become. Hercules, the saint that he is, must notice his hesitation because when Aaron finally makes it to John’s paintings the dark-skin man’s heart is about to beat out of his chest. He gapes and gasps for a moment before he feels a hand in his own and allows himself to relax when the familiar smell of Hercules’ cologne hits his nose. He squeezes back in thanks, and allows himself another minute to focus on John’s work before he moves into the main foyer for the final presentation. It’s another five minutes before he hears a high-pitched screech coming from the direction he previously came from, and he ducks his head and smiles as John’s voice gets closer.

“ _Aaron Burr_ , where are you?” Aaron can hear John’s footsteps as he maneuvers his way through the exhibit and into the foyer, and he turns to face his boyfriend with a small smile, hands tucked nervously behind his back. John looks like he can’t decide how much he wants to show his emotions to the people walking around Ben’s studio, but it’s obvious he’s leaning more towards broadcasting it to the world, rather than trying to hide it. Alexander is standing directly behind him, beaming at Aaron with so much joy it’s taking everything in Aaron not to move towards the two of them. There is a single tear-track down John’s cheek and Aaron wants nothing more than to rid of it and make the man he loves so much smile again. Aaron can feel Hercules, Gilbert, and James back away from where they’re circled behind him, and can see Thomas with his camera out filming them. He’s not sure whose idea that was, but he’ll have to thank them later; this is a moment he’s sure he’ll want to relive forever.

He’s pulled out of his thoughts by John saying, “‘ _Artwork by John Laurens, submitted by Aaron Burr_.’ Aaron, I—when did you have time to do this? You haven’t even been at the house.” It’s a low blow, but an accurate one, and it’s clear Aaron’s time away from home has been affecting him more than he let on during dinner or even the night Aaron left. He looks so broken, his face showing more and more emotion by the second, and Aaron takes a small step towards him. Aaron hates that he’s the one that’s made John feel like this, that’s made him sound so broken, and he’s hoping this gesture is enough to get John to forgive him for whatever it is he did before he left. “Aaron,” John says, barely loud enough for the taller man to hear, but loud enough to make Aaron step more towards John and release his hands from behind his back. John, as a challenge, starts walking towards Aaron as well. They meet halfway with barely an inch of space between them as John struggles with the decision to reach out to Aaron and not make him uncomfortable, and Aaron trying to avoid overwhelming John in this already high energy setting.

The room is tense, but Aaron doesn’t notice anyone else in the room but John. John, who accepted all his quirks and weird habits when they were no more than friends. John, who defended him against Charles Lee when he turned on Aaron during a LGBT protest and outed him to the entire audience. John, who has always been one of the strongest, caring, and loving people he has ever met and had the pleasure of calling a friend, a lover, and part of his family. John, who Aaron hurt when he left in the middle of a cold November night and didn’t come back for a month. John, who is staring so hopelessly and Aaron that it makes his heart ache and his eyes well up with tears. John, who Aaron loves with all his heart and would do anything for just to see him smiling again. “ _John_ ,” he says out loud, and that’s all the cue needed for the other man to close the distance between them.

It starts out so simply; their foreheads are pressed together while John’s arms wrap around Aaron’s neck and Aaron’s are around John’s waist. Aaron has missed him so much; has missed the smell of John’s aftershave, the feeling of his body so close to his, the breathtaking moment of remember how beautiful John’s eyes are and how much his freckles define his nose and cheekbones. Aaron has missed John _so much_ , that he can’t believe he was ever able to leave him for so long. He closes his eyes and breathes in, relishing in the feeling of John’s body pressed into him.

“I am so, _so_ sorry, John. I never—I didn’t mean to hurt you. I—” John shifts, and suddenly his lips are pressed against Aaron’s, soft and light, like a question he’s waiting to be answered. Aaron sinks into the feeling, letting John take slight control as they stand there wrapped in one another, trading soft kisses in the middle of the gallery. Aaron smiles against John lips, and the other man pulls back to smile at John, eyes welled up with tears but wearing a smile on his face. Aaron doesn’t deserve it, and guilt churns in his stomach as John stares at him like he hung the moon.

“Do you know why I was being standoffish, Mr. Burr?” Aaron shakes his head, and whines when John pulls away from him. The curly-haired man laughs at him, and Aaron pouts and crosses his arms. He becomes aware of people around them once more, but all his focus is on John, who he just wishes would take one step back towards Aaron so he can never let go. “I have loved you since the first day I met you, sir. From the moment Alexander introduced you to us as his shy friend that kept him in line, and you wouldn’t look any of us in the eye or sit too close to us, I have been completely and utterly in love with you. The day you agreed to be in a relationship with the four of us? That was by far the greatest day of my life,” he smiles at Aaron, but it looks a little sad and nervous, “Well, the second greatest.” Aaron furrows his brow in confusion, and it only gets deeper when Alexander walks up and hands John a small box.

“I will admit, I was a little jealous that you were so easily able to hold Laf and Herc’s hands before mine, or even before Alexander’s. It was silly of me, to think that that meant you loved either of them more than either of us or Tom or James, and I felt so stupid for it after you left. Once I put the pieces together, I felt like the world’s biggest asshole, and I wanted to run to Washington’s and beg you to come home. I didn’t though, and every day you were gone, every day you went without coming home or coming to see me and Alex for lunch, I knew that there was a reason I was missing you so badly. I love you, and I love you unconditionally, but more than that—Aaron, my love, I don’t think I could go a day in my life without having you in it. And so,” he sinks down on one knee, and holds the box out in front of him, “I’ve decided to do something about it. This was supposed to be at dinner _tomorrow_ , but since big gestures are apparently our thing now…” John opens the box, and the most beautiful gold and silver ring sits inside, shining humbly in the gallery light, “Aaron Edwards Burr, will you marry me?”

Aaron is frozen in place, stunned by the sudden turn of events that have gotten him to this point. He’s completely overcome with joy, is practically shaking with the energy from it, and he reaches his left hand out slowly, a signal that John understands and reacts to immediately. When the ring is slid all the way on his finger, he intertwines his hand with John’s and pulls the man to his feet, lightly kissing his lips with a smile. When he pulls back, John has let the tears fall, but he’s smiling so Aaron knows that he’s happy, knows that this man is who he’ll always want to spend forever with—and he’ll have James, Thomas, Gilbert, Hercules, and Alexander right there with them. Aaron smiles, lightly places his free hand on John’s cheek and wipes his thumb across his damp skin. He pulls John closer, rests their foreheads together like they were at the beginning of this turn of events, and smiles.

“Of course, I’ll marry you, John Laurens.”

John’s answering smile, highlighted by the whistles and cheers of everyone in the gallery and their significant others, is the most beautiful sight he’s ever witnessed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to every single one of you that have stuck around this long and have not given up on me and my horrible updating skills. I have finally found a kind of rhythm and pace to keep myself at so that I can get this, the Superhero au and maybe the ot3 james/thomas/alex thing i started a little over two months ago. By the end of this week, I will post a schedule for updates to my tumblr, so be on the lookout. I love every single one of you that have read and left commentary, and again I'm sorry it's taken me so long. My tumblr is [here](http://nyckthewriter.tumblr.com) in case you want to come talk :)


	7. James

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _From where his head is perched in Aaron’s lap, Alexander turns his head to look at the dark-skinned man quizzically. Aaron’s fingers are running through the islander’s hair absentmindedly as the two of them catch up on research for the Weeks case and Governor’s Ball respectively. Aaron pretended not to notice the attention as he browsed the venues he was given to work with and prices of catering. Timber sat, quietly and sleepily, across Alexander’s feet. “What’s the matter, honey?” His quiet question seems like a yell in the quiet of the apartment, everyone else went out to lunch to give Alex and Aaron time to concentrate on their extra duties for Washington. He appreciates the temporary silence, but it almost reminds too much of him not being home that month between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Alexander’s voice brings him back to the present when he says, “Aaron?”_
> 
> _“What do you think James and Gilbert want for Valentine’s Day?” ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me just go ahead and address the elephant in the room and apologize for how freaking long it's been since i've updated this thing. i don't really know how good you all will think this is, but i hope you guys like it.  
> after this it will be at least another week before i update because i've got finals, but let's face it, it could take up to a month with how flimsy i am with posting.  
> anyway, enjoy ! 
> 
> (unfortunately i still don't own hamilton, but i saw it last spring and boi do i wish i did)

The month following the art show, John is extremely clingy anytime they go out, whether it’s as a group or just the two of them. It should seem overbearing, the way John doesn’t seem to want to let Aaron out of his sight, but then the dark-skinned man will see the glint of the ring on his left finger and doesn’t say anything about it. It is a little overbearing, but Aaron loves John with all his heart and he’d much rather have John draped over him every time they go out instead of him ignoring Aaron’s entire existence because he didn’t think Aaron loved him as much as the others. It’s something that makes Aaron’s heart ache every time he thinks about it, and something he never wants any of them to feel, especially not John. The two of them have very similar pasts, both having parental figures who did their absolute best to break them and their personal identities down as much as possible, who were more than disappointed in who they became as they matured and grew more comfortable with themselves. If there’s anyone Aaron can talk to the most about his troubled past, John is his first and best option in terms of being open about everything. Not that the others don’t understand, because James most certainly does, but it’s easier with John, since they were friends all through college. John had always had the most luck in getting Aaron drunk off his ass in those days, and he’s always been a bit loose-lipped under the influence of alcohol.

Christmas comes and goes with many more surprises—shut up, Hercules, he did _not_ cry when his sister showed up for dinner—and New Year’s was spent in Monticello with Thomas’ family. Gilbert was his midnight kiss, and Hercules was his 12:01 kiss, James and Thomas kiss Alexander, and John kisses everybody. After they leave James’ parents place, they go back to Thomas’ estate and spend the rest of the night watching cheesy rom-coms and cuddling on a handful of blankets and quilts they gathered from around the room. Aaron is giggly the entire time, still feeling the effects of the champagne they’d had, and so he’s clinging to James throughout the entire night. They start off with Aaron laying on top of James, then with James’ head in his lap, and at one point, when Aaron was giggling and wanted to see if James’ could last being tickled, Aaron was sitting on top of the man. He’s pretty sure the others will never let him live it down, probably have photographic evidence to hold against him for the rest of his life, but in that point and time, it isn’t really a concern that Aaron is going to spend too much time worrying about.

After New Year’s Aaron officially moves back home, something that Timber is very grateful for, and things continue at home almost completely as normal. Carpooling is no longer an awkward endeavor and Aaron no longer works himself until his vision is swimming and he can barely think straight. Those of them that work in Washington’s office go on their lunch dates again, Gilbert models and does makeup ads for YSL and other exclusive brands, and Hercules makes them personalized sweatshirts and socks. Aaron takes back over the Reynolds case, and promptly ensures that the piece of shit goes to jail, and him and Alexander work together on the Levi Weeks case that makes him want to claw his eyes out. There isn’t enough evidence to convict him, which is good news for the two of them, but there also isn’t enough evidence to prove that he was completely innocent either. It would be easy for the prosecutor to pin him as an accomplice and there would be nothing Aaron or Alexander could do to refute it. It’s a horrible case, one of the ones Aaron doesn’t truly like, but Levi isn’t a killer, and Aaron plans to do everything he can to prove that to the jury.

January comes and goes in a blur, and before Aaron knows it, Valentine’s Day is around the corner. He isn’t sure what to get any of his significant others, isn’t sure what they would want from him and a small pit of anxiety bubbles in his stomach every time he sees commercials advertising great Valentine’s ideas or walks through the grocery store where boxes of chocolates are put on display next to bouquets of roses and different colored carnations. He knows he doesn’t have to get them anything, Thomas and Hercules are going to be in New York for Fashion Week and Alexander and John will be in Nevis for two weeks through Valentine’s Day, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t something that stresses him out. This year only Gilbert, James, and him will be home for the not-so-official holiday, and he wants to do something nice for the two of them, even if that means cooking a homemade meal for them and having a picnic in the park.

Aaron sighs as he twists the ring around his finger. It’s become a habit; whenever he’s anxious he’ll twirl it around his finger and count to ten to help himself calm his breathing and keep his nerves under control. It’s gotten him through many rough nights working on seemingly impossible cases and planning events for the government officials coming to town who know George and Aaron well. The thought makes him smile, the memory of John’s proposal a sweet one that he never wants to lose, and he knows without a doubt that he never has a reason to doubt the freckled man’s love for him. He never has a reason to doubt any of them and their love for him, but after the month he spent away from home sometimes he wonders if it’ll effect how much they love him. It’s the one anxiety he has never been able to rid himself of, no matter how hard he’s tried.

Somewhere, his grandfather is simultaneously laughing at Aaron and rolling in his grave.

From where his head is perched in Aaron’s lap, Alexander turns his head to look at the dark-skinned man quizzically. Aaron’s fingers are running through the islander’s hair absentmindedly as the two of them catch up on research for the Weeks case and Governor’s Ball respectively. Aaron pretended not to notice the attention as he browsed the venues he was given to work with and prices of catering. Timber sat, quietly and sleepily, across Alexander’s feet. “What’s the matter, honey?” His quiet question seems like a yell in the quiet of the apartment, everyone else went out to lunch to give Alex and Aaron time to concentrate on their extra duties for Washington. He appreciates the temporary silence, but it almost reminds too much of him not being home that month between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Alexander’s voice brings him back to the present when he says, “Aaron?”

“What do you think James and Gilbert want for Valentine’s Day?” his voice is barely above a whisper, and he’s pretending to look over the floorplan of Ben’s shop when Alexander raises an eyebrow at him. He can feel himself blushing, and thanks his darker complexion that it isn’t as easily visible. He continues, “I know they don’t actually care what I get them? But that doesn’t stop the panic that settles in my chest when I think of the fact that you and John are going somewhere, Hercules and Thomas are going to be in New York, and I want to do something special since it’s just going to be the three of us, y’know? Anyway, do you have any ideas?” He finally looks down at Alexander, and the other man is smiling at him in amusement. It gives Aaron the feeling that Alexander knows something Aaron doesn’t, even though Alexander is horrible at keeping secrets and would spill anything Gilbert or James told him.

“You’re right, Aaron,” the Caribbean native states, “they will like whatever you choose to get either of them. I know this is harder than it seems, but just trust your heart, sir. It’s usually correct; I’m sure you remember how they felt about Christmas, yes?” Aaron smiles, “Exactly. Just go with the first thing you think of, dearest. They will not stop loving you if all you get them is a bouquet of flowers, understand? Stop thinking that, please, okay?” He reaches up and softly traces Aaron’s bottom lip with the pad of his thumb, and Aaron presses a kiss to his skin. Alexander smiles. “Now finish working so we can watch _Merlin_. You’re finally getting to the good seasons.” Aaron chuckles but turns back to his work. Close to an hour later, he has it narrowed down to Ben’s space and the Schuyler Estate. Phillip is an old friend, and would more than likely be willing to let Aaron hold the ball at his place.

“All done?” Alexander asks, and when Aaron nods in affirmation he beams and sets aside his own work. He goes to grab a blanket and the remotes, and Aaron adjusts himself so that he’s laying down on the couch and Alexander can lay with his head on Aaron’s chest. After turning the lights off, the shorter man does so happily, draping the blanket over the two of them and promptly making himself comfortable. Cueing up Netflix, Alexander tangles his legs with Aaron’s and presses play on the next episode of _Merlin_. The description mentions something about a dragon egg, and Aaron doesn’t ask how that’s possible because dragons are _extinct_ barely holding back, because Alexander can and has ranted for hours about shows he likes and the subplots and idiosyncrasies they have. Aaron just wants to appreciate the show, and so decides to just watch and learn rather than listen to a lecture on the inconsistency of the _Merlin_ writers.

Alexander falls asleep within the first fifteen minutes of the episode, leaving Aaron to his own devices. His mind decides to split its attention between watching Merlin finding and protecting a dragon’s egg and thinking of different ways to surprise or spoil the two significant others that will be in New York come Valentine’s Day. As he goes through ideas in his head, he comes to a realization that makes his heart plummet—Gilbert is going to be _in_ the fashion shows that week, has been talking giddily about how excited they are that Hercules and Thomas will finally be able to witness a show. Aaron can’t believe he forgot, feels like a total idiot as he recalls instances of Gilbert having long phone calls with stylists and body guards before wistfully sighing for hours about how excited they are to be doing “real work” again, photoshoots have always been tiring with little reward. Aaron sighs and settles a little more into the couch. He’s more tired than he originally thought, and his eyes start to droop almost immediately after he settles himself in more comfortably. As he falls asleep, the front door opens and closes, and he smiles as lips are gently pressed to his forehead.

-x-

Three days later everyone except for James and Aaron have all parted ways. Making sure everyone was packed by the second day was more than painful, considering Gilbert wanted to do nothing but cuddle and cry on Alexander and John, and Thomas wanted nothing more than to cuddle with and cry on James and Aaron. Hercules, bless his soul, was the _only_ functional one out of their group of seven. If it weren’t for him, no one would have been packed on time and everyone would have missed their flights. Thomas, Gilbert, and Hercules leave before Alexander and John, and they spend twenty minutes crying in the lobby, drawing plenty of attentions to themselves, before they check their bags in and go through security. Two days later when Alexander and John leave, the results are relatively the same. John kisses the bridge of James’ nose and the curve of Aaron’s jaw lightly, and Alexander hugs them both and kisses their cheeks before grabbing John’s hand and strolling through customs with almost as much pizzazz as the others had a few days before. When they can no longer see the two of them anymore, Aaron and James turn walk back to their car, easily keeping up light conversation about cases they’re working.

Aaron does a lot more listening to (and staring at) James than talking, but no one needs to know that.

The drive home is quiet, but not awkwardly so. James is driving, tapping out the rhythms to the songs on the radio as they come on with one hand while the other rests on the console between them. Aaron mostly stares out the window, taking in the scenery of the side of town he tries to avoid going to as often as he can, avoiding the tight crowds and unwanted conversation it offers. He can feel James glance at him out of the corner of his eye every so often, but Aaron pretends not to notice. Instead he lets his mind drift, people watching while he thinks about different ideas of gifts or outings him and James can do on Valentine’s day. It is unfortunate that it’s on a Tuesday, meaning they won’t see much of each other except during lunch and when their workload is finished, but that doesn’t mean Aaron can’t plan something special for that night anyway. He smiles softly to himself as an idea forms in his head, and closes his eyes to let the sounds of James’ music wash away the noise of busy people in the street.

-x-

Valentine’s Day morning, Aaron wakes up thirty minutes earlier than usual. James grumbles at the loss of body heat, but immediately settles down again when Aaron presses a quick kiss to the other man’s forehead and Timber settles herself into the spot Aaron was previously occupying. Checking his phone, he smiles and shoots out replies to Gilbert’s updates on fashion week and John’s Snaps of Alexander and Usnavi, the two with nearly identical grins on their faces as they sing something incoherent in Spanish. Gilbert almost immediately messages him back, questioning his early rising, but Aaron pockets his phone again, trying to keep himself from getting too distracted from the task at hand. Pulling out bacon, eggs, cheese, fruit, and milk, he preheats the oven and sets the bacon on a pan, placing it in the oven when it alerts him that it’s done. He cracks the eggs in a bowl with milk and shredded cheese, setting it and the pan he’ll cook them in to the side. His morning continues like that, preparing breakfast for James and getting lost in the actions, tuning the rest of the world out. At some point he’d begun humming, some nondescript melody that didn’t mean much of anything. Fruit cut and in a bowl and bacon cooling on a pan, Aaron pours the eggs in the pan on the stove, letting them simmer as he stirs them with the spatula, mixing in more cheese as they solidify.

“I thought I smelled something good,” is all the warning he gets before there are arms wrapped around his waist and lips are pressed to the back of his neck. He smiles, leaning back into James’s touch, being sure to keep his attention on the eggs so they don’t burn into the bottom of the pan. It should be difficult, trying to work around an extra set of arms, but it isn’t; nothing with James is ever difficult, and Aaron laughs at himself for ever thinking he had anything to worry about. “I was wondering where you went this morning, was worried you’d rushed to work before I could give you your gift.” As Aaron finishes the eggs, James gets two plates out for them allowing Aaron to plate the food as he trudges back to their room. The table is set, food and cups of coffee steaming on the table when the shorter man comes back holding a small box, Timber on his heels the entire time. “Happy Valentine’s Day, my love.” He places the box on the table between them and goes about eating his breakfast, like he didn’t just completely floor Aaron.

Carefully, Aaron unwraps the bow placed around it, making sure not to damage the box himself. The box was long and a decent width, relatively heavy in his hand. He could feel Madison looking at him as he ran his hand over the smooth velvet of the box, trying to run through all the possible things the box could hold in his head. Finally, he pops the top open, staring inquisitively at what he sees inside. Sitting inside, looking more intimidating than two pieces of paper have any right to be, is two tickets to the local theatre house. Tonight, they have a production of _Wicked_ , one of Aaron’s absolute favorites, and he stares at James with amazement. The other man smiles softly at him, eyes crinkling at the edges, and places his hand face up on the table in between them. Aaron immediately reaches back, gently turning the smaller man’s hand over and pressing a light kiss to his knuckles. The mood is immediately ruined when Aaron’s phone rings loudly, disturbing the softness and quiet of the apartment, and James laughs when Aaron scowls at it distastefully. His scowl softens when he checks the caller I.D and reads Thomas’s name, but it doesn’t disappear entirely.

“Go on then, darling, answer it. You know he knows we’re up, he won’t stop calling until one of us acknowledges him,” James says, voice much softer than the ringtone that clashes with the mood. “Put him on speaker and eat your food, we do have to work before the play.” Aaron complies, hitting the answer button and the speaker icon in succession, laying the phone on the table between them so he can answer the phone.

“Morning, darling, how’s New York?” is all he gets out before Thomas’s shrill voice rings out in the room.

_“Just how many people do you_ know, _Aaron_?” He exclaims. James raises an eyebrow at Aaron, and the man in question shrugs in confusion. He doesn’t really think he knows that many people. Before he can question it, however, Thomas continues. _“We just met_ Rihanna _, and she told us to wish you the best and showed us pictures of the two of you at a_ bowling alley _._ At this James’ eyes widen in amazement, and Burr must stifle a cackle as he allows himself to reply, enjoying the look of bewilderment James—and he’s sure Thomas and Hercules—is wearing when he responds.

“Well who do you think helped me get Gil’s Christmas gift?”

Aaron presses a quick kiss to James’s forehead before he strides down the hallway to get ready for work, only feeling slightly bad for leaving his boyfriend to deal with Thomas’s screeching.

-x-

For the first time in a long time, Aaron’s work day seemed to be going by at an agonizingly slow pace. He had meetings with clients from the moment he stepped in the door through lunch, and instead of going to lunch with James like he’d _wanted_ to, he was somehow roped into a “business lunch” with Washington and the President of NYU. There are a lot of questions about his values and his passions as a lawyer, and while Aaron is more than delighted to go on about the things he loves, about Civil Rights cases that he throws himself into or into LGBTQ+ issues that he stands up for constantly, no matter what it might do to his career, it’s also slightly out of the blue and overwhelming. Aaron vaguely feels like he just went through a job interview when he’s left the room, which wouldn’t be a problem, NYU is a wonderful establishment and it’s something he’s always wanted, but he dazedly goes through the rest of his day. He barely registers James’ presence as the two work in silence in the taller man’s office to make up for lunch. Finally, he finishes his work load, making note of his client visits and court dates in his planner before he shuts down his laptop and leaves the office for the night. James, who’d finished well before him, smiles softly at him from the chair in the corner as Aaron pulls him out of the room, pulling their coats on as they step into the frigid February air.

They walk to Aaron’s car hand-in-hand, and unsurprisingly it’s as easy as breathing. It’s natural, the way their hands find one another and fit together, like blinking. Aaron smiles to himself, glancing at James in his peripheral and allowing his smile to grow in adoration at the sight of a blush on James’s cheek. Aaron doesn’t comment on it when they get in his car, or on the way to dinner—Aaron made reservations at a local restaurant near the theatre after their call with Thomas that morning—but he’s sure to press a soft, chaste kiss to James’ knuckles before they get out of the car and walk hand-in-hand into the restaurant. The hostess greets them enthusiastically, barely sparing a glance at their intertwined hands as she checks them in and takes them to a table on the second floor. James pulls out Aaron’s seat like a gentleman before he sits down himself, and orders them a bottle of red wine. Aaron screws his face up in mock-disgust, to which James simply laughs.

Dinner is a casual, easy affair, as it always is. They talk about everything while simultaneously talking about nothing, and it’s a nice, comforting change from having to juggle seven conversation topics at once. James leaves a hand rested on the table between them, not-quite an invitation but an offer should Aaron want to take it, and half-way through dinner, between their entrée and ordering dessert, Aaron does, linking their fingers together. While they wait for their cheesecake and tiramisu respectively, the conversation drifts to Aaron’s lunch with Washington. Aaron sighs in slight frustration, causing James to raise his eyebrow in question. “Was lunch not enjoyable?”

“It would have been,” Aaron replies honestly, “had I thought that’s all it was; lunch. I’m pretty sure that Dad is trying to get me a job up there, and while the thought and idea is nice…I’m not really sure I’m NYU material. I haven’t lived in New York since grad, which isn’t too big a decision-maker, but I’ve got too terrible of patience to deal with grad-students who prefer to spend their nights binge-drinking and watching _Stranger Things_ than getting their assignments and case studies done.” James hums in acknowledgement, but the grin on his face shows he’s far more amused than he’s letting on. “It’s not even a job I deserve, I only got the lunch interview-thing because of Washington, not my actual talent as a law—”

“Washington didn’t get you the interview, you dummy.” Aaron snaps his mouth shut, staring at James inquisitively, and the other man continues. “Hamilton, from NYU, was in and out of town while you were doing your Reynolds case. He was immediately pleased with how succinct and passionate you were about law and the small details that most lawyers overlook when defending, or persecuting, a client and the rules of court. He’d tried to get in touch with you at the office, but it was a day that you and John had taken off, so I answered and took a message, which Washington immediately took from me. It’s an opportunity that you earned for yourself, no one got it for you, and it’s certainly one you deserve.” James squeezes Aaron’s hand in reassurance as he sits there slack-jawed.

“You deny yourself too many things in life, Aaron. This is something you have worked hard for, something you _deserve_. It’s not quite the same as working here in the office, of course, but anyone who knows you knows just how good at this job you would be. Those students would be lucky to have you as their professor, and you are far beyond qualified for it with all you’ve been through and how hard you’ve worked to get to the top here in D.C. I don’t think you should pass this up.” James smiles at him, soft and sweet. Aaron has just one question. Well, just one many multi-part question.

“I can’t just—how am I supposed to move to New York and just leave all of this behind? Leave _you guys_ behind? You wouldn’t have jobs there, I couldn’t ask you to just—just move to a brand-new city for me to have a job! And my dad? I can’t just leave him behind, besides you all he’s the only family I have left. What if something happens to him while I—”

“ _Aaron_ ,” it’s barely a whisper, but it’s all Aaron needs to take a breath, berating himself for losing his cool in such a public place. His neck heats up in embarrassment, but James just reaches his other hand across the table, and Aaron immediately grabs onto it. “Aaron, no one is going to make you take this job if you do not want to, but do not think for a second that any of us would want you to _not_ take it simply to benefit us. If this is something you want, which we know it is, you’ve told us how you’d wanted to be a professor back in grad school, then it’s something you should go for. We love you, Aaron Burr, and we just want you to be happy with whatever you choose to do with your life. Do you understand?” When Burr nods, he continues, “And as for your father, Washington would have your head if he knew you were giving up one of your dreams for him. You’ve accomplished this part of your life, it’s time for you to spread what you know to other people.” It leaves Aaron with quite a lot to think about.

At that moment, their waitress comes back with their dessert, and before James can pull both hands back to enjoy his treat, Aaron pulls out his phone and opens the camera. Aiming it at James, being sure to get their hands and James’ dessert in the photo, Aaron snaps a picture and pockets the phone again, and the two finish their cake and tiramisu in companionable silence. They pay for the check, slip on their coats, and head back down and out to the street to make their way to the theatre. James’ hand is warm in his, and his body heat does wonders to block out the cold surrounding them. While they walk, it’s silent, and Aaron can’t help but use this time to think about what James had said. Is considering that job what he really wants? _Of course, it is, dummy,_ a voice that sounds suspiciously like Alex says in his head, _it’s not Columbia, but you’ve wanted this for years. Don’t be stupid._

When they get to the doors, they get their tickets scanned and make their way to their seats, not bothering with concessions since they just had dinner. They’re sitting in lower balcony, about halfway up from the ground with a perfect view of the stage. Aaron leans his head on James’ shoulder while they wait for curtain, and they scroll through their phones while they wait. Scrolling through Instagram, Aaron can’t help the smile on his face as he sees pictures his other significant others have posted of their day, laughing openly at their shenanigans on their stories. James reaches over and taps his thigh lightly, so Aaron reaches down and squeezes it, continuing to look through his feed. He clicks on the icon on the bottom of the screen that opens up his pictures and chooses the one of James from the restaurant. James looks beautiful, smile soft, yet radiant in the glow of the restaurant lights. There’s a look of pure adoration on the other man’s face, one Aaron knows he’s shy about showing in public. Aaron adjusts the placement and sizing so that all of James and their hands are showing in the picture, placing _i wouldn’t have you any other way, and i love you every single day_ as the caption before he posts it.

He turns his head a presses a single kiss to the base of James’ neck, smiling when the other man turns and captures a second kiss with his lips instead. He reaches up, tracing James’ bottom lip with the tips of his fingers, completely caught up in the man next to him. Just then, someone clears their throat over the loud-speaking and the two men are forced to turn their attention to the stage instead of on each other. Quickly, Aaron turns to James again, pressing his lips to the shell of the other man’s ear as he whispers out, _“Thank you,”_ before turning his attention forward again. The lights lower, the music starts, and Aaron settles himself in for a great night with the most wonderful person he’s ever had the pleasure of knowing. The soft squeeze to his hand Aaron gets in return is the only acknowledgment the taller man needs to know that he was heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was...not my best work , but i hope you guys enjoyed it nontheless. i don't feel like going to update all my past links , but you can now find me on tumblr [here](http://virgilsanxiety.tumblr.com) or [here](http://nyckatnight.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> no i (unfortunately) do not own Hamilton. I don't have a tumblr for my writing, but you can still talk to me [Here](http://poesuitsfinn.tumblr.com)


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